Tips on How to Be Romantic

Pamela Pleasant
To some people being romantic comes easy. But I have seen many people struggle when trying to connect with the opposite sex. The trouble with romance is, it has a different definition depending on if you are a man or a woman.

Women love romance and have no problem displaying it. Men look at it a bit differently. They are often raised not to show any kind of emotion or feelings and that if they do their masculinity suffers in some kind of way. Also, what man doesn't want to seem strong and macho? Clearly these differences can cause problems in any relationship.

Most men equate being romantic with sex. But women know that sex and romance are two different things. Sex without romance can be unfulfilling.

Dark rooms lit only with candle light, loud explicit sexual music and getting groped on the couch is not romantic. Neither is having a person be pushy with liquor. But there are things you can do to be subtlety romantic.

Although it is a good idea to bring a gift on a date, chocolate and flowers are a bit out dated. Save them for Valentines day. Instead bring a bottle of wine. A sweet wine should do fine. You do not have to purchase an expensive one. Just make sure it tastes good. Leave beer and hard liquors at home. You don't want to offend anyone, sending the wrong message.

When it comes to music nothing is more overpowering than Barry White playing in a dimly lit room. This loudly says that a person has only one thing in mind, and can make your date want to turn around and run. First ask your partner if they want to hear some music. If they say yes, then play a little Seal or The Dave Matthews band. Play light, happy music with a few really good slow tunes. This can lead to a slow dance.

I realize that most, (heterosexual) men are not to thrilled about dancing. But the fact is women love to dance. I was at a party once and we were all dancing. My date knew I wanted him to dance but he was reluctant. After some persuading, he got up and just stood by me instead of dancing. When a slow song came on we danced and I lead. For the fast songs he swayed and tapped his foot. It was very cute and I was impressed by his effort. Doing something you would not normally do is romantic.

Compliments are romantic. But just like music they have to be light and happy. An onslaught of compliments can be creepy and seem insincere. Telling a woman her perfume smells pleasant is a good compliment. Telling someone they are the most beautiful person you have ever seen, or asking someone if they are a model, are examples of bad compliments. Keep compliments at a minimum and make them count.

When it comes to being romantic there are so many little things people can do to show they care. Holding hands while walking, a love note or just a wink can mean so much. Just remember not to be insincere or pushy.

Published by Pamela Pleasant

Pam Pleasant has been writing professionally for 3 years. She attended Mott community College in Flint Michigan where she studied English. She has published over 60 articles and they are uniquely written by...  View profile

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  • Dan Reveal3/16/2009

    This is so useful to me! I tend to be the opposite of some men, going to far into emotionality. It didn't occur to me that I might seem insincere. I just want women to feel cared about, not overwhelmed. Thanks.

  • Michael K. Miller3/16/2009

    Sometimes I think I am displaced from another time, another place, Pam - like maybe 18th Century Italy or France. What seems natural to me evidently is not known by the majority of 21st Century American men. Take Care, Michael

  • Kristie Leong M.D.3/14/2009

    Your points are wonderful. Thanks for the inspiration. :-)

  • Tiadorah Anderson3/14/2009

    It hard to think of romance when you have problems to tackle.

  • 3lilangels3/13/2009

    very nice tips!

  • Sophie3/13/2009

    I like it when I go on a trip and I find love notes from my husband telling me how much he loves me and that he will miss me.
    Sophie

  • Branwen663/12/2009

    Fantastic tips! Your last sentence is key to success. Good job!

  • Abasster3/12/2009

    Yes, got to wait for the emotional buildup during an interaction to make such small things like a wink to matter most. Good read.

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