Tips on Sex After Having a Baby

A woman faces many changes after birthing a child. The lack of a sex drive is one of them, and is oftentimes a cause of more stress on the mother. While pregnant, many women crave sex need it almost daily. After the baby comes, they find themselves dreading making love to their significant other. Whether it is from pure exhaustion, the fear of getting pregnant again, or a fear of pain, women do not want to have sex after the birth of their baby.

Many women feel they are alone in feeling this way. Others know they are not. There are things a couple can do to help ease the fear, but very little can be done to raise the drive, especially if breastfeeding. Breastfeeding mothers seem to especially feel, or rather do not feel like copulating with their partners. While commonly known that breastfeeding can cause cervical dryness, lubrication does not help as much as woman would like. Hormones also play a large role in determining the sex drive. An emotionally distraught, new mother is not going to be "in the mood."

There are things to do to ease the discomfort, and possibly get a new (or not so new) mother in the mood for love. Not all of these suggestions will help every mother, but if it helps one new mother (and her partner) then it was worth writing about.

Tips to help the sex drive:

1. Talk with your partner. Tell him your fears. Ask for time to "switch gears" from mommy to lover. Sometimes all it takes is an uninterrupted shower, and five minutes of not meeting others demands.

2. Stimulate yourself. A little self-help can go a long way, especially if you fear that it is going to hurt. If it hurts, you can explain this to your partner, who will most likely understand, and give you more time.

3. Start with mutual oral and manual stimulation. That may be all it takes to get you in the mood. If not, it is something that your partner is sure to enjoy, whether it leads to intercourse or not.

4. Take time for you. Put on make-up before you leave the house, or before your partner comes home. Do something for you, to make you feel pretty.

5. Talk yourself sexy. Before your partner comes home, think about making love to him. Think about every inch of his body, caressing it, and him caressing you.

6. Know that you are not alone. This too shall pass.

Sex is very natural feeling sexy is not. Remind your partner that you just had a baby. Explain that you need time, and why. It may take awhile for the desire to come back, but it will come back. I promise.