Tips on How to Split Christmas Between Out-of-State In-laws

You thought about just canceling Christmas altogether, but that didn't go over too well with the entire extended family. You thought about alternating years between visiting your spouse's family at Christmas and your own, but that just didn't sit right with you. Couples with families in different cities face the same dilemma every year. Rather than letting a distance issue make or break your holiday fun, consider the following tips on how to split Christmas between in-laws living in different states.

Tip #1: Use Christmas Eve! Couples so often neglect to take advantage of the fun and excitement centered around Christmas Eve, especially when children are involved. Consider asking one set of out-of-state in-laws to host a family dinner on Christmas Eve, and enjoy the children's early morning sprints to the tree together on Christmas Day before heading out.

Tip #2: Make the most of Christmas breakfast and brunch. Forget the turkey. Set the holiday table this year with bacon, eggs, sausage, biscuits, juice, French toast, pancakes, and the most decadent breakfast trimmings. Creating a tradition out of the Christmas breakfast with one set of in-laws (especially if Step #1 is being implemented as well) will go a long way in creatively easing a bit of the tension over which spouse's out of state family gets to enjoy a holiday dinner with the two of you this year.

Tip #3: Try the "show and split" routine. We all know that when it comes to appeasing the in-laws during the holidays, it's all about appearances. So much hustle and bustle is going on in most families that, as long as you both show up at some point, chances are you'll do fine. As such, consider showing up together on Christmas morning at the home of one set of in-laws, and after an hour or so have the other spouse leave for their own parents' home. The other spouse follows a few hours later. Of course, this trick will only work when either the in-laws live within driving distance (both live on the state lines) or if a quick flight can be arranged for mid-day.

Tip #4: Make the travel time part of your holiday fun. Ok, "travel" and "fun" don't often go hand in hand. However, many couples make the mistake of begrudgingly taking on Christmas travel between out of state in-laws as a necessary duty rather than using the experience as a family tradition. Bring along your Christmas CD's, schedule quick tourist stops along the way on your itinerary, find favorite restaurants or stores to visit during this rare trip, and set aside special gifts only to be given to each other while on the road (a great way to help children cope with long drives).

Tip #5: If all else fails, put your own traditions first. That's right, tell your mother-in-law that this year, it's all about you. Even the most well intentioned couples can become so tired and distraught over finding a way to share the holidays with both sets of out-of-state in-laws that their Christmases are ruined every year. What is supposed to be a fun occasion for all turns into a day full of arguments, resentment, and fatigue. Starting your own traditions together at home and placing them above other holiday get-togethers, no matter how cutthroat it may seem, is usually understood by all. Buy your own turkey, set out your own china, invite whomever you wish, and begin creating a holiday tradition that's all your own.