Tips From a Stage Mother: Is Show Business in Your Child's Future?

Is your son or daughter just dying to be in show business? Does he or she have talent that you've seen on the elementary school stage or heard when they're singing in the shower?

As a bona fide stage mother, I can perhaps provide you with some cautionary advice and support. My son, who's 17 now, has been a "show business" kid since he was about eight, bitten by the bug after appearing in a regional Christmas musical. Since then, he has appeared in dozens of stage productions, both at his high school and in regional theater groups in suburban New York. At times, the rewards have been so great they are difficult to measure. At other times, the experience has both frustrated and humbled him.

Like anything else in life, you have to be prepared to watch your child experience both extreme highs and extreme lows as they test the waters of a very competitive arena.

Know first that children and adolescents who want to be in show business will require just as much of your time as those who play Little League ball or take piano lessons. It is likely to cost you more money, however, since many show business kids eventually realize that they have a better chance of landing a role if they've had lessons: voice, acting, dance. My son took voice lessons from a kind, funny gentleman who played Tony in the first national tour of "West Side Story," and the decision to drive him every Saturday morning to the lessons was a critical one. His voice coach gave him the self-confidence he needed to push ahead with his dreams and take his voice outside the confines of the shower.

Begin slowly, and let them take the lead. My son often wavered, especially when he was a pre-teen, deciding one day that show business wasn't cool, and then asking the next day if I would drive him to an audition. His interest in the stage was cemented when he was a high school freshman and auditioned for a well-regarded childrens/teens theater group and landed a part in Rodgers & Hammerstein's "Cinderella." It was his first taste of real musical theater, produced on a real stage, with fellow cast members who were as passionate as he was about this show business thing. During this production, he befriended kids who had already been on Broadway or traveled in national tours, others who had played Disney characters at birthday parties, still others you have most likely seen in a variety of national television commercials. He became better at memorizing lines, knowing his cues, listening closely to the director, and working as a member of a closely-knit team. He learned that acting, like most things in life, requires discipline.

Seek out auditions. If your youngster can handle rejection, then by all means look for auditions. A great source for casting calls and audition notices is backstage.com, the online version of Variety, the show business newspaper that is hard to find unless you live in New York or Los Angeles. The online version charges an annual fee, but allows you to regularly read notices of auditions being held around the country for parts in films, stage productions and commercials. My son landed a part in a small independent film that is being shot in New York by seeing an audition notice on backstage.com.

Find an agent. Finding an agent can be the next step, particularly if your child really wants to work. Be sure to find a bona fide agent who does not charge anything to represent your child. Real show business agents charge only the company that is doing the hiring, not those applying for the jobs. Once your child does land a job, however, expect the agent to take a percentage of his or her earnings. The best way to find an agent is to be referred by someone else, such as another actor or director with whom your child has worked. Consult the variety of books available on this topic - I can recommend The New York Agent Book by K. Callan, which provides clear advice and a list of agents by their specialties.

The Head Shot and Resume. When your child is ready and has done at least some work in show business, consider having a head shot taken. This is especially important as he or she steps up the audition process or wants to find an agent. Head shots are 8 by 10 glossy photos, printed either in black and white or in color. Look for professional photographers with their own studios, a portfolio of their work, and prior experience doing show business head shots. Most photographers will provide you with a dozen or so proofs from which you can choose the best photograph. Then look for a good photo print shop and order 100 copies of your favorite. Make sure the print shop puts your child's name in the bottom border of the photo.

A resume is what you would expect - a list of your child's experience, usually listed by date, name of the show, the character he or she played, and the name of the theater company. Just like any resume, put your child's name and contact information at the top. But unlike your resume, you should also list your child's age, height, weight, hair color and eye color.

Sit Back and Enjoy. While your assistance will be invaluable to your child, know when to back off and let him learn the ropes on his own. Being a responsible, supportive parent is important, but I've seen a few parents along the way, both in show business and on the ballfield, who tend to take the whole thing much too seriously. Most directors dislike nothing more than a parent who interferes with casting decisions, believes that his child should have been cast in the lead (don't we all?), and generally gets in the way. Chances are, your child will be mortified if you step onto his turf and embarrass him.

Know the Odds. Very few Little League and Peewee Football players reach the World Series or the Super Bowl, and the same is true for young, talented performers. Some will lose interest on their own; others will be disappointed by the reality of the business - that few are chosen. One of my son's best friends was recently cast in a Broadway show that opened to rave reviews and is in the running for a Tony Award this year. She is 16 years old and her life has changed overnight. But she is that rare talent, blessed with the singing voice and face of an angel. What does the future hold in store for her?

For my son, who is heading off to college, the choice was a liberal arts university with a well-regarded theater department. While he will most likely head for a performing arts major, a liberal arts institution provides him with alternatives, in case he changes his mind about his future. We agreed that a performing arts school would offer him limited choices.