Tips for Starting to Date Again at Forty

OK, you've decided you're ready if you just happen to come across the right man or woman. First solid tip-don't go looking. This is usually when you end up with disasters. Live your life, and listen and watch for cues, but don't go out and "hunt" someone down.

Dating Later in Life-Red Flag Number One

The fast mover. The fast mover is a man/woman who comes in like a whirlwind and expect a commitment immediately. These people will also be the ones to say "I love you" within the first week or two. We've all felt these puppy love feelings, even at later ages, but as we get older, we should have the maturity to know that love grows and takes time. It's not something you just blurt out immediately. A fast mover is usually someone who will change your whole life around in a matter of a month or two, then six months later you find yourself trying to put it back together again because they are gone. Usually not only are they gone, but they usually manage to uproot everything in your life first.

Dating Later in Life-Red Flag Number Two

The charmer. Sure of course it would be nice to be with someone that's charming. There is a difference though between "the Charmer" and someone who is just plain charming. The charmer is a smooth talker, and you usually will not know too much about him. You do not realize this though, because he keeps you distracted by his smooth talk. Before you know it, he knows everything about you and you know nothing about him. These people are usually either a) married or b) a con person.

Dating Later in Life-Red Flag Number Three

The flipper. Flippers are people who are used to naive people and typically get away with any nonsense because of that. Anytime they do something not right or disrespectful, they somehow "flip" it back to you. These are some of the worst people to date, as they rarely give any respect and usually even believe themselves. They never see doing you wrong-its always you that wronged them.

Of course these go for any age, but I think its more important later in life as there's so much more to lose as an adult than a teen. There's your home, your credit, your family as sometimes you've already had kids at this point.

There are plenty more red flags, but I would like to pepper this with the nice side of things too. Just because there are some bad apples out there, be it male or female, there are wonderful people out there. There are people who will treat you right, and even someday if you both want, commit. That's why you have to watch for the red flags. After all, why waste time on someone who isn't good to you? Its far better to be alone than with a person out to take advantage of you or break your heart. Don't fret, the right one will come along if that's what you want. If you want to be alone that's fine too, don't let society tell you that if you don't pair up something is wrong with you. Most important though, don't be scared off of dating and relationships-just cautious.

personal experience