Tips for a Stress Free Pregnancy for the Single Mom

I was so scared and overwhelmed when I first found out I was pregnant with my daughter. Her father and I weren't in a relationship, and I couldn't bring myself to think about what our life would be like without her father. Fear, anxiety, panic, and hopelessness are common emotions for a woman who learns she is well on her way to being a single parent. I found out early in the pregnancy that I would have no help. Every doctor's appointment, check up, the milestones, and wonders of pregnancy were all experienced alone. In the beginning I was discouraged and felt the need to share with someone in the experience of my pregnancy. This was my first and only child, and I was bound and determined in making the best of a bad situation. The following are some methods and suggestions I personally used in my pregnancy experience. My daughter is healthy, happy, intelligent, and well adjusted in spite of the fact that her father still is not in her life. My hope is that this will also be of some assistance to females in similar situations.

A Strong Support Network is the First Step

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a large, strong or supportive family to lean on, but everyone can create their own network. Friends and family are at times the easiest people to reach out to. Use your close connections to your advantage by letting them be a part of your everyday life. Maybe you have a best friend that you can arrange to take walks with in the evenings? A brother who is willing to visit once a week, and possibly help around the house with tasks you may not feel up to performing. Connect with local agencies relating to motherhood and pregnancy, and see if they offer support groups for pregnant or single mothers. Churches and other religious organizations are also another good resource to fellowship, and bond with others. In order to get help, remember you have to be proactive and ask for it.

You Are Not Alone in This Experience

In 1960 about 5 percent of births were to unwed mothers; that figure is now a record high of about 40 percent. You are not the first female to experience a pregnancy on her own, and will not be the last. They say there is strength in numbers, so find peace of mind that other women in the world are experiencing similar emotions, and experiences. Find solace in the fact that other women from all backgrounds, age, nationalities, and race have made it on their own. The life your child will have is largely dependent on how well you cope with the pregnancy, and deal with single parenthood. To some degree you can affect your child's disposition and attitude towards the world, and being raised by a single parent.

Fake It Until You Make It

I can not stress how important having a positive attitude towards your pregnancy and life in general will help. Even when you don't feel like having a good attitude, keep in mind that your unborn child experiences your emotions to some degree. Fake it until you make it means speaking and thinking only positive thoughts even when you feel down. The power of positive self talk is well documented and proven to have beneficial properties. Daily affirmations such as "My unborn child and I are safe, healthy, and happy" or "I care very much for my unborn child and in spite of current situations he/she will be born healthy, happy, and well-adjusted" can be beneficial.

Bond With Your Babe

Even on days when I felt depressed or down it always helped to speak to my unborn daughter. Whenever I was lonely or sad I'd just speak to her, and let her know how much I wanted to see her. I found a book called Prenatal Parenting by Frederick Wirth, M.D, that was very helpful about how to foster happiness in your unborn child. I would suggest reading this book cover to cover. The book has very fascinating facts and theories on how you relating to your child while in the womb can bring positive effects. I also wrote to my daughter, and made personalized pictures with text from her ultrasounds. It is beneficial to love your child even before he or she is born. I can suggest another book that might help you find peace of mind called Promises From God for Parents by T.D Jakes

I wish you and your children all the best.