Tips for Surviving Your College Freshman Year: For Parents

It is tricky for mom and dad to suddenly switch thinking patterns from those of the on-location provider of food and funds to the from-a-distance provider of encouragement and exhortation. I don't know if I could be considered an expert, but I am the still-learning parent of an only child who started college this past fall. I'm sure there are many lessons yet to learn about coping with this stage of life, so perhaps a sequel to this article will appear in a few weeks. These tips are not necessarily in order of importance--just in the order of my learning experiences.

Make the break easy.

Move 'em in and move on out of the way. Don't linger around the dorm room making suggestions or sharing touching memories of childhood. This is the time for a strong back and a quiet departure. Save your tears for the ride home.

Give them space.

If your child doesn't call for a few days or even weeks, that doesn't necessarily mean you have been forgotten and forsaken. It might just mean adjustments are being made to new surroundings, and sometimes it's easier to embrace the new if you are not clinging to the familiar.

Don't be a crutch.

Part of the college experience is learning to work through issues. When your offspring finally calls, only to inform you that he is concerned because his roommate is a member of the Ozzy Osbourne family, do not hang up and immediately place a call to the housing administrator. Take the opportunity to make one or two possible suggestions as to how the situation could be handled, and then let your somewhat-of-an-adult freshman handle it.

Show interest without seeming intrusive.

Especially if this is the first little bird out of your nest, it is difficult not knowing the details of everyday life like you did just a few months ago when you were the main provider of food and shelter. There is a plethora of situations you can conjure up to worry about-- proper nutrition, sufficient sleep, time management, personal hygiene--enough said. As a parent, it wouldn't seem normal to your teen for you to totally ignore all these issues and not give any advice. At this stage of life, you just have to learn to sprinkle your tidbits of wisdom sparingly and at non-predictable intervals--this throws the student off guard. He might actually listen to your advice if it comes unexpectedly!

This brief article hasn't even touched on the subjects of money, social affiliations or random changes in the major field of study. I have a strong feeling that there will be a follow-up article soon-coming...