Tips on Taking Care of a Toddler When Pregnant

Taking care of an active toddler requires a great deal of energy and patience. Toddlers are both curious and fearless which can sometimes lead to sticky situations. Toddlers require constant supervision to make sure they do not climb, color, take apart, lick, eat, or drink anything and everything that comes within their reach. While toddlers are trying to explore the world around them and venture away from Mommy and Daddy they are also still very dependent on their parents to meet most of their basic needs. When the mother of a young toddler finds out she is expecting another baby she may have to make some changes in her lifestyle in order to continue to take care of her toddler while staying healthy during the pregnancy as well.

I found out I was pregnant with my second child when my son was eleven months old. He was still a baby himself. He wasn't walking yet or talking a lot and though he was tall for his age he was not that heavy to carry. He was sleeping through the night and was in the brief but relatively easy stage between sleepless newborn and restless toddler. I had not returned to work yet as I had planned to be a stay-at-home mom until our son turned one. I was in the final semester of my senior year of college when I found out I was pregnant again, but I was taking my courses online so I did not have to worry about getting back and forth to a campus. I knew that the pregnancy experience with a child at home would be different than my first but I did not think it would be very difficult. I was naive. I learned that there is some advice an expectant mother should follow when she has a toddler at home, even if she is as stubborn as I am.

Find Alternatives to Picking Up a Toddler

My belly grew bigger as my toddler grew older. He started to run shortly after he learned to walk and still has not stopped. He changed quickly and by the time he was fourteen months old he was off the charts at the pediatrician's office. He was a tall little guy, not surprising since his mom and dad were tall. Though he was long and lanky, with height comes weight and he started to get heavier to carry. We lived in an apartment with stairs at the time and though he knew how to climb up and down I still had to carry him often, My doctor advised me to avoid lifting my son as much as possible but that was easier said than done. I did my best and my fiance helped a lot but there were still many times when picking him up was necessary.

I learned in that time that I had to let some ideals go and adapt to the situation I was in. Before I became pregnant I had always put my son in his crib after he fell asleep. I wanted him to have consistency and to wake up in the same room, be it after a nap or a night of rest. I wanted him to have peace and quiet as he slept and not to be disturbed. If he fell asleep on the couch I would pick him up and carry him upstairs to his crib where I believed he would be more comfortable. As my pregnancy progressed I found this to be harder and harder to do. A sleeping child always seems to feel heavier than one that is awake. I made a valiant effort to get him into his crib but eventually I had to give in and let him sleep on the couch downstairs if that is where he dozed off. I felt guilty about this for a while. Then I realized he was getting the same amount of rest no matter where he slept and I was not a bad mom for letting him nap on the couch rather than his crib.

I also learned that a hug is a hug whether you pick up a child to give it or bend down to his level. Boo boos can be kissed away as easily when a child crawls into your lap as they can if you pick him up.

If Someone You Trust is Willing to Help, Let Them

Getting to my doctor was always a big event when I was pregnant with my second child. I am a very independent person and I do not like to ask people for help. I decided that I would take my son with me to most of my OB appointments and I believed that as long as I planned ahead things would go smoothly. The appointments were incident free to start with, though I am now convinced that this experience will prompt my son to be a gynecologist some day. I brought my son in his stroller, had some quiet toys for him to play with and always came prepared with something to refill his sippy cup with and his favorite snack. Children can change a lot in nine months and the baby who was content in the stroller during my first trimester transformed into a toddler who wanted out and was vocal about this desire.

I can clearly remember the day finally broke down and asked for help. I was in my third trimester and quite large. It was starting to get uncomfortable to move. Tasks such as getting my son into and out of his car seat, taking the stroller out of the trunk and strapping him into it, and getting up every two seconds in the waiting room when he threw something I was trying to occupy him with got more difficult. This particular day I had to go up to the secretary's station to change some information and I wheeled my son in with me. There was a cart with a lot of charts next to us but I was too tired and overwhelmed to notice it. My toddler reached out and proceeded to knock over half of the charts, spilling papers everywhere. I was embarrassed and apologized profusely as my son was squirming and trying to figure out the stroller buckles so he could get out. When I got back to the examining room I was breathless and on the verge of tears and my son was crying.

I never went to my Ob's office alone with my son after that. My husband's grandmother is one of the sweetest people I know and had been offering to come and help me with my son for weeks. I finally called her and took her up on her offer. My son adores her and she is wonderful with him. From then on she went with me to most of my doctor's appointments and watched my son in the waiting room. When I had testing done and my fiance went with me she would stay at our apartment. She was my saving grace. I learned from this experience that everyone needs help sometimes and I did not have to be ashamed to ask for it once in a while.

A Little Mess Will Not Hurt Anyone

Toddlers may be small in size but they are capable of making big messes. A living room floor can quickly become cluttered with toys and books. Before I got pregnant I would use my son's nap time as a clean up time in which I would straighten up the house, even though I knew it would just get messy again as soon as he woke up. After I becoming pregnant again I found myself being extremely tired all of the time. In order to preserve my health, energy and sanity I had to learn to let some messes stay where they were so that I could sleep when my son was sleeping. Don't get me wrong, if there was food on the floor or something that was not clean I would take care of it no matter how tired I was. I did however leave the Elmo doll and the blocks on the floor so that I could lie down. The mess would be there later and if I was lucky some days my husband would help me pick it up later.

Your Child Will Survive If He Has To Wait

Women who are very pregnant in the summer months may find that they feel sick if they go out into the heat. This can make it difficult to take a toddler to the park or the pool or even for a walk during the day. I was forced to stay inside during the warmer days of my pregnancy because spending too much time in the heat made me nauseous and dizzy. I also had a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions that led to my doctor advising against a lot of physical activity. My having to stay inside during the day meant that my toddler had to as well and I will admit that I felt immense guilt over this. I tried to take him out early in the morning for bubble blowing and other calmer activities. It was cooler this time of day and I could tolerate it better. He however would have rather been running around.

Though he might have been frustrated some days he still did get outside for play and exercise on a daily basis. He just had to wait until his Daddy came home from work. My husband would take him to the park, push him in his car toy, and play chasing games with him. A toddler will survive if Mommy cannot take him outside all of the time and he has to wait a while for his Daddy to do so. Expectant mothers should try not to feel guilty about letting their husbands take over some activities with their toddlers for a while. The situation is not permanent and mom will get a well needed rest.

The best advice I can give to pregnant mommies who have a toddler at home is to take it as easy as possible and cut yourself some slack. You will not be pregnant forever and your child will not be scarred for life if some of his activities have to be delayed or curtailed. It is okay to ask for help and most people are happy to help you when you are pregnant, though you may have to bite your tongue and tolerate some touching of your belly in the process. The most important thing a pregnant woman with a toddler can do is make sure her husband knows what she is going through and what she needs him to do for her and their child at home. Daddies can and should help during a pregnancy and he might find that he enjoys activities with his toddler more than he ever expected.