Tips for Talking with Your Aging Parents

When considering tips for talking with your aging parents, there is one tip that stands above all the rest. That number one tip for talking to your aging parents is to talk to them at all times with dignity, respect, and appreciation. Too many people become frustrated with their aging parents and as an adult protective services case manager, I saw it all too often. We may become frustrated when we sometimes feel we are the parent and our parents are the child, but no one has the right to abuse their aging parents. Just as verbal and emotional abuse are considered abuse and are against the law where children are concerned, and it is often legal grounds for divorce, it is considered abuse of the elderly. An aging parent cannot help that she or he cannot remember where the house keys are; after all, haven't we lost them ourselves? An aging parent is not stupid or illiterate. An aging parent needs the same love, guidance and support that they gave to us as children. In many societies, children would never disrespect their parents the way that many of us do when talking to them.

Business Matters

Talk to your aging parents about business matters in a manner that does not sound like you expect them to be deceased before the day is out. Just explain calmly and pleasantly that you need to know where such things are as the deed to the house, names of banks, insurance companies and other business matters that you may be able to attend to or help with. If your aging parents have already made their final arrangements, then it is imperative that you get that information as well.

STOP YELLING

I have seen too many people in public places yelling at their aging parents as if the aging parent is at the other end of the shopping mall. If the aging parent is standing next to you, there is no need to shout. I have had opportunity to grin more than once when overhearing an aging parent tell their adult children, "I'm not deaf; you don't have to yell!" Unless the parent is very hard of hearing, there is no need to yell.

Talk to Them Lovingly

An aging parent appreciates talking about nothing at all, which means everything to them. So many of our seniors are deeply hurt because they hear from their children so infrequently. If you talk about nothing but the sun shining or mom's favorite game show, they will appreciate your showing that you care enough to spend that precious time talking with them. It is also imperative that grandchildren know that even though grandma and grandpa may seem a little boring at times with their talk about "the good ole days," family is the most important thing in life to them and that spending time talking with aging family is the most important gift of love you can give.