Tips for Talking to Your Teen and Tween About Sex

Do you remember the sex talk your parents had with you? Maybe you were lucky and things went smoothly or more likely your parents stammered constantly while staring at the floor. If you're about to have the sex talk with your kids, follow these tips first.

Do your research.

Use the internet to find statistics or information that you're unsure about or visit Planned Parenthood and ask for a few pamphlets. Be informed when you talk to your child about sex, not uneducated.

Realize that your children may know more than you think.

It's easy to assume that your teen or tween doesn't know anything about sex, but you might be surprised. Friends talk and share stories and your child might be learning more on the playground than you've ever taught them.

Be realistic.

There's bound to be some resistance on the part of your teen or tween when it comes to talking about sex. Know that they'll want to leave and that the conversation will make them feel embarrassed, but stick with it.

Use proper terminology.

Don't mention "down there" or any other nicknames for genitalia, but use the actual words. Your teen might not take the talk seriously if you spend the whole conversation using slang terms. Let them know that this is a serious conversation.

Incorporate more things into your talk.

Just talking about sex isn't enough if your child doesn't know the ins and outs of oral and anal sex. Make sure you cover all the bases and let your teen or tween interrupt when needed.

Know your teen or tween's background.

This is the time to remember when you caught your daughter and her boyfriend kissing in the backyard or your son with a stack of magazines under his bed. Adjust the sex talk to include the things you child already knows.

Don't let your embarrassment show through.

It might be hard for you to not stare at the wall or stumble through your words, but try to be strong. This is the one time when your child is going to hear direct from you about sex and you want to make it count.

Do it one on one.

You absolutely must have this talk with your child in a safe environment, just the two of you. Don't try to talk while driving to the doctor or with your husband sitting in the next room. Let your child know that it's just the two of you in this talk.

Using these tips, you might find that it's easier to have the sex talk than you previously thought.