Tips for Transitioning into the Life of Marriage

Many couples don't realize that their first challenge in marriage will be the transition from a single life. To help understand what makes it difficult for some couples to transition into the life of marriage and for tips on transitioning into the life of marriage, I have interviewed psychologist Chasee Chappell Hudgins, Psy.D.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I am a licensed psychologist. I have been working with adults, children, couples, and families in a diversity of settings for over 15 years. I am currently in private practice in Austin, TX"

What makes it difficult for some people to transition into the life of marriage?
"My responses are purely anecdotal based on my work with couples in the early years of their marriage.

In my experience, various factors make it difficult for people to transition into marriage. The main issues I have encountered in my practice are as follows:

1) Expectations
Expectations about married life vary depending on a multitude of factors including, but not limited to, the age of the individuals, cultural backgrounds,gender, family history, and marriage history.

In the excitement of planning a wedding, many couples neglect to focus on the reality of the hard work involved in creating and maintaining a healthy marriage. After the honeymoon phase, couples are faced with the realities of everyday life and all that is involved in sharing one's life with another.

2) Values and attitudes
Some couples do not directly address their values and attitudes and how they plan to manage individual differences in their marriage. Value and attitude differences can include religious backgrounds and practices, intimacy and sexual needs, money management, career management, and values regarding having children and child rearing practices.

3) Personality
Personality differences, which seem minimal early in the relationship, can develop into serious disconnect, frustration, and anger as the relationship progresses. This is especially true if one partner believes that their partner will change once they are married.

4) Communication
Good communication is important in clarifying desires and needs in the relationship. It also helps partners deal with conflict in a productive manner. Communication styles can vary, so it is important for partners to know their own and the other's communication style.

5) Family and support systems
Stress in the early years of marriage can be significantly higher if the couple lacks support from their families and/or support systems. As they develop their marriage, they must co develop boundaries with significant others in ways that help each member of the couple feel supported and connected with other important people in their lives.

What are some tips for transitioning into the life of marriage?
Before the marriage, schedule a few counseling sessions to discuss the above issues. Clarify expectations about married life with each other. Begin the tough conversations about values and attitudes and how to bridge the differences between them. Talk about how personality differences might cause problems along the way and implement effective communication skills. Begin to talk about families and support systems and how they might integrate these relationships into their new life as a couple.

What type of professional help is available for someone that is having a difficult time transitioning into the life of marriage?
Marriage counseling from a licensed professional or clergy can help a couple transition more smoothly into married life. They might also attend a couple's therapy group or marriage workshop in their area.

Thank you Chasee for doing the interview on transitioning into the life of marriage. For more information on Chasee Chappell Hudgins or her work you can check out her website at www.ChaseeHudgins.com.

Recommended Readings:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5644514/increasing_your_sexual_activity_in.html?cat=5">Increasing Your Sexual Activity in Marriage

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/119410/how_to_put_the_sizzle_back_in_your.html?cat=74">How to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Marriage

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2859838/how_to_deal_with_an_annoying_husband.html?cat=72">How to Deal with Annoying Husband