Tips for Women on Coping with the Transition from a Divorce

It can be difficult for any woman to go from being married to being divorced. To help understand what is some challenges women face when they are transitioning from a divorce and for tips on coping with the transition from a divorce, I have interviewed psychotherapist Bedelia Murray LISW-CP .

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I am a clinical social worker who sees adults, couples, and seniors at the Coastal Samaritan Counseling Center in Myrtle Beach, SC. I obtained my MSW from the University of Maryland, Baltimore with a clinical concentration in mental health. I have a special interest in working with couples, those that have mood disorders and those who are experiencing grief/loss. I have worked in non-profit, government, medical and private practice settings and have facilitated numerous workshops and support groups, many dealing with the management of emotions and with dealing with divorce and separation .

I am a firm believer in the resiliency of the human spirit and that no matter how desperate a situation looks, there is always hope. As the saying goes: Dum spiro, spero - which translated means, 'While I breathe, I hope.'"

What are some of the challenges women face when they are transitioning from a divorce?
"Divorce is a time of immense change. As a woman transitions from being married to single, there are changes in role, in status, in identity, in parenting, in finances, in friends, and in life in general. It is a period of major adjustments and a time of multiple losses.

It can be challenging as a woman tries to redefine her life as a single woman. She may no longer have the same support network and friendships that she once had as some may have dissolved with the marriage. In addition to navigating these challenges, women are also at a risk for struggling with issues related to self-esteem, depression, and anxiety."

What are some tips for women on coping with the transition from a divorce?
"First, it is important for women to realize that no matter how much they may have or may not have wanted the divorce, that they will experience feelings of loss and grief. Divorce is a loss and the emotions surrounding it will need to be processed. Secondly, women need to take care of themselves, physically, emotionally, and spiritually during this time. There is much energy that is expended during this time of change and trying to find the balance between managing the emotions and taking care of oneself is key. Start exercising. Get enough sleep. Eat three healthy meals a day. Don't isolate yourself from others. Surround yourself with 'life-savers,' not 'life-drainers.'"

Although this can be a very challenging time, it can also be a time of great personal growth. Evaluate your life, your friendships, and your dreams and make the necessary changes to move in a positive direction. Maybe there are friends that are pulling you down. Perhaps it is time to change friends. Maybe you've always wanted to dance. Now might be the time to start the salsa class you've always dreamed of taking. Remember: 'Life is Change. Growth is optional.' Choose to grow during this time of transition."

What type of professional help is available for women that are having a difficult time transitioning from a divorce?
"If it becomes difficult to manage the emotions surrounding the divorce and the transition from wife to single woman, there are professionals who can help. Don't be afraid to go see a counselor and talk through things. Sometimes just having a non-biased, non-judgmental, person to listen can make all the difference in the world. Being able to process the emotions, build upon your strengths and assess the areas that may need some work can be helpful on the journey to the 'single' you. If you're having difficulty with finances, seek the advice of a financial consultant. There are some financial consultants who specialize with working with women who are going through a divorce.

Join a support group for the newly divorced. Having others alongside you that are going through the same thing can be therapeutic. Remember, you're not alone on this journey '" there are others out there that can be a great source of support and encouragement for you."

Thank you Bedelia for doing the interview on tips for women on coping with the transition from a divorce. For more information on Bedelia Murray or her work you can check out her website at www.bedeliamurray.com .

Recommended Readings:
Healing from a Broken Relationship

How to Control and Deal With Your Anger

Signs That a Man is Marriage Material