Tips for the Working Mom: How to Balance Work and Life and Keep Your Sanity

I wish I could tell you that it is easy balancing kids, work, and life's duties in general. The truth is, it's not. It's a task that seems to get harder every day. If your situation is anything like mine then you'll completely relate to the constant struggle to keep things from piling up.

Having so many duties used to completely overwhelm me. This in turn caused me to stress out even more and become much more unproductive. I've become much better at accomplishing things over time. If you only take one or two helpful hints away from this article, then I have succeeded in making your life a tad bit easier.

Just know, whatever happens, you are not alone.

MY STORY - IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

I am a full time business owner. My husband and I own a catering company that operates in five states. I work most weekends at fairs and festivals. I also run our websites, and marketing. On top of that I have three online art and antique stores-of which I stock with my own art creations. On top of that I write books and articles. On top of that I have three dogs who love to play in the backyard which is a mud pit when it rains. On top of that I am a stepmother to three children, one of whom is an eighteen year old who moved in with us a year ago. I'm getting a crash course in teen rebellion. The others visit too. On top of all of that, I am a wife is expected to wait hand and foot on her husband since he's had a hard day at work. (!!!) To have dinner on the table by 5:30 and to treat her husband like a King is just part of it all. Did I mention the cat who brings me scary gifts? Does any of this sound familiar? Does anyone feel my pain? Perhaps your own story is slightly different, though the same question we ask ourselves is this:

HOW CAN I DO IT ALL?

My story wasn't always that busy, it sort of slowly grew to that magnitude. Little by little more responsibility was added, until soon I was toppling over under it all. Add that to life's normal ups and downs, and I wanted to scream hysterically and run out of the house. I knew however if I did, no one would feed the dogs, send the bills in, clean up the kitchen, keep an eye on my stepson, or do the laundry. I spent plenty of time stressing about the situation and how it had all went from manageable to unmanageable, but this just made me tired, and gave me headaches. If I obsessed on the fact I had so much to do, I just found myself sleeping and being unproductive. Perhaps I was depressed from the long to-do list I had to do. One day, I just decided to get off my rear end and give it my best shot. First I had to accept this very easy understanding....

I CAN'T DO IT ALL BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE SUPERPOWERS.

PRIORITIZE

With the understanding that there is no possible way to get it ALL done every day you must prioritize. (Of course there are those who have tried to operate consistently on two to four hours of sleep a night and seem to get a lot done only to find that lack of sleep negatively impacts their productivity within a few days. Instead of doing that, stock up on sleep because you are going to need it.) Make a priority list of what you must do in the next two days. Setting yourself a two day schedule will stress you out less than a one day schedule.

DIVIDE AND CONQUER

You absolutely must be a good salesperson and solicit the help of your husband and kids. Even if your children are younger than my stepson, there are things you can teach them early on to help you. For instance, younger kids can do a room clean up and get rewarded with fruit and cheese-or maybe a new coloring book from the dollar store. They might like to clean up Fido's toys because he's their best friend. As crazy as it sounds, get them thinking early about chores and get them going right. Find something that your kids like to do.

My stepson likes to be in the kitchen so that's where I put him to work. I also have a calendar on the fridge and he has small tasks to complete every day. I have told him this will not only teach him responsibility but will prepare him for his own apartment by learning to get his household duties under way. (He actually bought that!) Whether you spin it off as chores, or some type of education for the real world, or rent-exchange it helps. I do my calendar one month ahead making him do all the trash, clean his room once per week and he has bathroom clean up every two weeks. He's in charge of recyclables being put out on time and lawn detail. It's manageable to him because he has a week to accomplish all his tasks.

His father is more of a stickler to win over. However, I can't stress enough WIVES that you simply must tell the truth. If they don't help you , this will ultimately cut into your alone time. With that said, a HONEY DO list is plastered on my fridge, or in his "bin" each month. I put all the things that need fixin' around the house for the month. Sometimes he's got them knocked out in a day, other times in a month. Either way, he's helpful. If your hubby is not Mr. Fix It, then send him grocery shopping. You would be surprised how easy it is for them. They go in, get the goods, and leave. No stress, no mess.

MULTI-TASKING AND WEEKLY MEAL PLANNING

You hear about this "multi-tasking" all the time and probably do it at work. You have to also do it at home.

Here are a few multi-tasking tips that I commonly use.

1) COOKING AND TALKING: (while doing Laundry also). This is a big multi-tasking thing of mine. Trying to return the phone calls and find the time to ask a billing question on something is hard. I do it while I'm cooking. Thanks to cell phones and cordless phones, I'm able to move around. I keep a notepad in the kitchen and try to take good notes when calling for business. I return the calls of family and friends during this time also. In between preparing dishes and precooking meals, I'm switching over the laundry.

2) MEAL PLANNING: The notepad in the kitchen is also helpful for planning out your meals. Let's say it's Monday through Friday because Saturday is dinner out or carry out. Essentially you can plan the main dish and then precook items that you can utilize the rest of the week in various dishes, which will allow dinner to come along quicker. Two big things I do personally is make large salads and saran them. Additionally I make a large pot of pasta at least once a week. Sometimes it is spaghetti noodles, other times maybe penne pasta. I generally cheat and get a few different sauces and portion them into containers. The pasta is portioned out and stores well even in Ziploc bags. The hubby and kids can take whatever they want with whatever sauce they want for lunches, and I'll use the smaller portions with dinner throughout the week. Penne is great because I can use it for dinner, lunch, in different summery salads such as ranch penne pasta or Italian Pasta salad. You can also use the penne noodles that are already cooked by adding them to a soup you just made at the last minute. These small things will add up and help you get more creative in your dinner and one less thing you have to cook all the time.

3) CROCK IT: I love my crock pot. I had mine given to me off of Freecycle website. It's an old 1970's one but still works like a charm. You can get a new one for under $10. This is the absolute best time saver there is. You can sauté a big pot roast piece of meat in a frying pan with a little oil or butter, browning it on both sides. Stick in the crock pot with a bunch of chopped veggies, a packet of slow cooker seasoning, some water, and let it ride. When you get home from work at night it's will be oh so tasty. I have to tell you I am not a good cook, but I rely on these little flavor packets in the seasoning section of the grocery store to do all the work for me. My husband gets all kinds of dishes: pot roasts, stews, meatballs and sauce, sausage and sauce, and pork done in the crock pot. I'm telling you whoever invented these little things must have had a very busy mom/wife/work person in their home.

TIME SAVING TIPS

1) GROCERY SHOPPING: Do you know the best time to shop the grocery store is after 8 pm? When hubby is home with the kids, take an hour sneak out and do your grocery shopping. You will avoid the crowds and enjoy a peacefully quiet shopping experience. This also clears your head with some alone time. You can even go before the grocery store and multi task by stopping at the SUPERMART and stock up on your toiletries, paper goods, and grab that new pair of shoes you've been meaning to get for the kids. I love shopping at night, but remember to take precautions to be safe when doing so.

2) HOUSECLEANING: When everyone's in bed is a great time to organize, clean, do laundry and mop floors. I find that by 9pm everyone is in bed and the dogs are passed out. This gives me time to dust, mop, do laundry and clean the bathroom (when my stepson isn't doing it.) I leave the vacuuming for the daytime so as not to wake anyone up. The hard part is done, and now I just have to do a quick twenty minute vacuum in the AM and all is well.

3) EMAIL: Since I am self employed I must check my mail every few hours, but I don't respond unless it's urgent. I save all my responses for a certain time each morning, while sipping coffee I can gather my thoughts and having previewed it earlier I can respond accordingly. There's no reason you can't save that email for every few days. This is a common line I use, "I was away from my computer yesterday, so sorry for the delay..............."

4) ETSY, EBAY, or any ONLINE SELLING: If you sell on any online site for extra money, it's good to stipulate you ship once weekly "or more". This allows you to do it once a week if you can't get around to doing it more. If you have a Paypal account you can print and click UPS or USPS shipping labels and schedule pickups from your home. USPS has free pickup depending on the type of service you have chosen. Requests can be submitted at night and usually will still happen on the next day. UPS does charge a pick up fee. If you don't have Paypal check out the individual shipping sites for more information.

You may find yourself multi-tasking during your work lunch and taking your packages to the post office for mailing. Avoid lines and look for big blue bins in some Post Offices that accept pre-printed labels. Or, when you have a bunch of running to do, plan your package drop offs somewhere on your way.

5) TIME WITH KIDS AND HUBBY: Kids are priority one. Find out how to multi task while with them. For example, while the kids are doing homework you can be folding that laundry from earlier, planning that meal chart, or writing your checks out. Spend time with them at the dining room table --you're there to help them and also multi tasking some of those things you have to catch up on. It's also important to keep open communication asking them about their day and making sure they always know they can talk to you about anything. Moms who tend to be busy hear less and less out of their kids. It's important to remind them just because you are busy; you are NEVER too busy for them.

As for hubby, you must have a date night, no matter how long you've been married. Even if your husband is tired after a hectic day at work and you are pooped and don't feel like going out, it's absolutely important to have planned a night alone. Perhaps ship the kids to their friend's for a few hours and snuggle watching a movie. If they are small children, have grandma take them for the night. You absolutely must make time to show him you still love him, and sometimes it's the snuggling he appreciates most.

EXERCISING WHY IT'S A MUST

Walking and talking with your hubby and kids not only helps you spend time together, it helps rejuvenate your body and your mind. Believe me, you need all the help you can get with this craziness. If you aren't a big gym person then find an alternate way to work out such as bowling with the kids, walking, biking, yoga, gardening, yard work, or doing something where you are moving around. This will help de-stress you.

MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

The one thing that has kept me balanced it to take a few minutes for myself each day. Sometimes it's spent watching the sunset and sipping on a cup of hot tea. Other times I'm writing for an hour just to get my mind off things (as I have a full plate on my to-do list after I submit this article.) Other times I sit and pet my dog, as he seems to understand me. Or, I might call up an old friend and steal an hour away for coffee.

DON'T FEEL GUILTY and TACKLE THINGS HEAD ON

Do not feel guilty about taking some time out. Don't look at things half left undone. Think of them as half completed. Don't stress about having two zillion things to do on your list, think of the ten things you are definitely going to knock out today. Don't procrastinate about doing what needs to be done, do your best to make it happen. However, if something comes up and you can't get to everything on your list accept it, don't worry. Give it your best shot and feel good about what you did get accomplished.

Remember, late fees happen and overcooked lasagna happens, muddy paws happen, and life happens. Get a good night's sleep because it's all getting ready to happen again.