Tips for Young Women on the Pressure to Have Sex

Today many young women fall into the pressure of having sex. To help understand what type of impact the pressure to have sex will have on a young woman and for tips on dealing with the pressure to have sex, I have interviewed psychotherapist Shannon Sprung, MA, LPC-Intern.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I am a practicing psychotherapist in Austin, Texas, with a focus in the LGBT community as well as in the realms of feminist therapy, sex therapy, and women's empowerment. Teaching empowerment and self acceptance to my clients has become a staple in my work as a psychotherapist, and I have witnessed it making huge differences in the lives of my clients.

I have a master's degree in professional counseling from St. Edward's University in Austin and currently hold LPC-Intern licensure. In addition to my private practice, and for the past three years, I have been providing pro-bono counseling in the nonprofit sector to a wide array of adults and adolescents with differing degrees of psychological and sexual issues."

What type of impact does the pressure to have sex have on young women?
"First, I would like to talk briefly about how I feel society plays into the pressure for young women to have sex. I have witnessed young women dealing with the negative impacts of sexual pressure well before they ever reach adult status. The media portrays women in relation to sex in magazines, newspapers, television, movies, books, etc. At a young age the importance of feminine sexuality is ingrained, and we learn the ideal woman is tall, skinny and flawless. If you take your young daughter shopping, you often find clothing in her department that is promiscuous and risqu©. Anywhere we look, we see sex. Then, add in peer pressure to have sex. It almost seems a recipe for disaster.

As a therapist, I have seen varying degrees of psychological, emotional, and social issues that the pressure of having sex can create in young women. Judgment from peers can cause unnecessary pressure on oneself, which can lead to poor decision making. This pressure causes stress and often leads to young women having sex before they feel ready to avoid being made fun of or in order to 'fit in.' This, in turn, can start a cycle of self doubt, self criticism, and self destruction -- .not to mention unplanned pregnancies. This cycle can then lead to things that are not uncommon in young women (and things that I see often in my practice): depression, anxiety, withdrawing from peers, eating disorders, self mutilation (cutting, burning, etc.), self hatred, and even suicide. Feeling pressure and giving into that pressure under false desires can create psychological and emotional problems that young girls often hide or repress only to show up in adulthood."

What are some tips for young women on the pressure to have sex?
"Talk about it! I cannot stress this enough. Ideally, young women will have a strong support system, whether it be family or peers. It is very important that young women do not feel as if they have to fight their battles alone. A sense of camaraderie and a safe environment to talk about issues can make the difference between giving in to peer pressure versus finding the courage to say no.

Remember that the people pressuring you are in no way better than you; to the contrary, they tend to be weak and lack their own sense of confidence. Make decisions based on what feels right for you, and find pride in that sense of empowerment."

What type of help is available for a young woman that is having a difficult time dealing with the pressure to have sex?
"Ideally this starts at home with supportive and open parents who are willing to talk to their daughters about sex and the pressures of having sex. In reality, oftentimes this is either not the case, or young women refuse to talk to their parents about sex. Having a close group of like-minded friends can also be of huge benefit for young women. These types of support systems not only offer a safe place to talk about issues but can also serve to minimize stress.

School counselors are a good choice if there is rapport between student and counselor. Seeking counseling with a psychotherapist is also a great option and gives young women the ability to search until she finds a therapist she feels comfortable with. Please note that if you are under the age of 18, you will typically need a parent's consent to see a psychotherapist. Psychotherapists are a great option, because they tend to be unbiased when compared to family, peers, and school counselors, because they are completely separated from the young woman's everyday life. Depending on services offered in your area, group therapy for young girls can be one of the best options, because it creates a sense of community and camaraderie that lets young women know they are not alone in their struggles.

Self acceptance, self confidence, and self support are key factors in the fight against peer pressure. Never underestimate the power of self encouragement; it is more than okay to be your own best friend."

Thank you Shannon for doing the interview on tips for young women on the pressure to have sex. For more information on Shannon Sprung or her work you can check out her website at www.shannonsprungcounseling.com.

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