Tired of Breaking Up to Make Up?

The spark is gone in your relationship, and you're ready to call it quits. You don't really have a good reason. It just seems that you and your significant other have grown apart. You don't want to hit him with the, "It's not you, it's me" excuse because you feel like it really is him, and you're frustrated out of your mind. Here are some tips on peacefully deciding whether to break away from the relationship.

Tip One:

Consider just when it was that you became so bored in the relationship. Did an argument about something you two have different viewpoints on make you disgusted by him? Did your own insecurities lead to hopelessness in the relationship? Is it a disagreement with money? Are you tired of seeing his friends always in your home? Attempt to consider when it was that you started having this change of heart.

Tip Two:

Have a heart-to-heart talk with him and let him know when the situation in Tip One happened. If you two have already had this conversation, request a different outcome. The outcome may have more to do with you than him, but if there are still unresolved feelings, it might be time to try something new-an apology, a new way of explaining the problem, a vacation, moving out, relationship counseling.

Tip Three:

Don't resort to name calling or other forms of abuse. It didn't do you any good when you were little and only made the situation worse. It definitely won't do you any good as an adult. Name calling doesn't solve the problem and neither does resorting to low blows about your sex life, physical insults or physical abuse.

Tip Four:

If you're still just flat out unhappy and don't really care whether the situation is resolved, explain why it is that you'd like to part ways instead of working the relationship out. Don't leave any details out, especially if your partner is content in the relationship. If you are vague, he will wonder what is going on with you and may assume something more intense is going on (ex. cheating) when it could be something more innocent. And if it is cheating, be honest with that too, otherwise you two will probably continuously debate this situation until you blurt it out anyway.

Tip Five:

Decide whether you want to be friends or completely part ways without any further communication. This is next to impossible if your families are close, you have mutual friends or children. But make sure you two are on the same page about where this relationship will end up. You don't want to end up with a stalker.

Tip Six:

Stick to your guns. If you're really planning on leaving, leave. If you keep coming back out of desperation or confusion, you will be toying with his feelings and eventually he will grow frustrated with you. Yo-yo relationships lead to more unhappiness and in the meantime, you both could be spending quality time dating Mr. Right and Mrs. Right instead of each other. Don't make a bad situation worse.