TLC’s New Show: Parents in Prison

TLC, THE LEARNING CHANNEL: With programs like Toddlers and Tiaras, and Extravagant Kid Parties I'm learning that there are a lot of crazy parents wrecking their kids in this country. Kids crying over false eyelashes and hiring circus performers to toss you kids around at a birthday party are both sad and disconcerting. One mother had this to say about her kids competing in pageants: "Alaska, she's cookie cutter blond hair and blue eyes but Braxton rocks with his multi-racial profile. He's beautiful, and would have to drop dead to lose. Poor Alaska will hopefully accept her defeat with a smile on her face." Did I mention the kids were in the room?

Bleaching your elementary school aged child's teeth once a week… really? Super mom says: "Well if you don't want your teeth bleached Alaska you're going to lose. Your teeth are so yellow compared to Braxton's." All the while the future husband can't believe she is bleaching their teeth but she tells him and the camera, despite Alaska saying she hates it, that the kids just love it. The expense of these pageants puts the family in debt but so what? They have a pot metal crown loaded with paste and plastic jewels and a check for 1/3 of what it cost along with bragging rights that their little Jack/Jill is the most wonderful six month old ever carried onto the stage in Julia Roberts slut attire. And why are the mothers always hideous in appearance? Is it just to go along with their personality? I wish people would stop watching so they would get cancelled, it's continuing to inspire the stupidity not learning. If anything they are educational to the point of learning what NOT to do!

In the same episode Super Mom Runner Up says: "She loves her spray tan", as the toddler she references runs around the giant warehouse/automotive repair shop as her father chases her with his industrial sized air brush claiming; "It's just like painting a car." One mom says: "My daughter loves gymnastics but it was giving her muscles and she looked bad in her formal wear so we're taking a break from it", as a kid who could do pull overs on the bar a couple of months ago falls mid way through one on a tension bar in a door frame. Mom informs her it's because her arms are weak. This only proves the mother is a know nothing wing nut because it's not her arms it's her abs that make that happen and instead of getting lean muscle the daughter who is no longer active is now getting a pot belly. The widening around the midsection, muscle-free form of this 8 year old attempts to loll through her "dance" routine while mom tell us these routines that don't move much make her bored but really she's just lazy. SHE'S NOT LAZY YOU MANIACAL BITCH! She wants to do gymnastics! I could hit her with a brick myself!

One mom tells her daughter, who is sitting on the ground screaming and stuffing her face with sugar cube bribes that her heart is hurting because Little Sunshine won't dance she then pulls in the porcine ugly step-sister to say look she'll do it if you won't but never actually lets this child who is eager to please her and get some attention do anything; she is merely a pawn in her sisters Queen of Hearts tale. A mom of five girls and grandmother to two more says how smart she is by taking care of the finances so the hubby who is outnumbered doesn't know how much they spend on pageants. She also tells her kid, "You need to do a good job and when I hold up the sign with the dollar signs on it you'll know it means to really turn it on so you can bring mommy home some money or bring daddy some money." Daddy responds, "You owe me." That sounds like a stable healthy family environment doesn't it?

Jail. Every single one of these objectifying morons should be thrown in jail for child abuse. This morning there was a piece on the local news about one of the mom's saying her six year old was so sexy. She should be charged as a sex trafficker. Please I beg you stop watching this and all the other ridiculous reality-as-long-as-there-is-a-camera television shows. Stop contributing to the dumbing down of society. Lord knows there is already enough dumb to go around.

Be Safe.