"To Air is Human" by Bjorn Turoque

To Air Is Human, subtitled: One Man's Quest to Become the World's Greatest Air Guitarist was written by Bjorn Turoque with help from his alter-ego, Dan Crane. Will mild-mannered software technician by day Crane propel himself through air guitar competition, using his Turoque persona, to become the super rock star he envisioned in boyhood dreams? Can air guitar bring the world to peace? Who invented air guitar? Do air guitarists actually have groupies and roadies? Why would an Asian air guitarist name himself C-Diddy to model himself after a hip hop artist? Who came up with the idea of air guitar competitions? What next, air drum contests? The answer to all those questions can be found in To Air Is Human. Well, maybe not all of them. If you do not know anything about the World Air Guitar competitions this book is a good place to start.

A much asked questions to contestants from reporters is "Why air guitar?" Crane might answer, "Why not?" Turoque will go into a lengthy answer about nihilism and Nietzsche. To Air Is Human is a fun book to read. Each chapter starts with a quotation. The quotes run the gamut from dead philosophers, authors, rock stars and characters from popular movies. There are boxed drawings giving "Air Guitar 101" lessons. If you use your thumb on the bottom right side of the book to quickly flip the pages you will get a stick figure rock star performance in the manner that animated cartoons were first drawn. Turoque may not have name recognition that Crane yearns, but Crane's writing and humor could give him a whole new career. He is bored with the aggravating and tedious world of software.

Crane admits to finding it "absurd" that people would have an interest in watching people play invisible instruments. Like others, he ponders the possibility of air guitar being an artistic expression requiring as much talent as other forms of art. He tells us that everyone has played air guitar, or has thought about it or has watched a drunken party person do so. Have you? A guitar is low on the list of my favorite instruments. I am more apt to badly impersonate MC Hammer on the dance floor or do my best Fats, Jerry Lee or Ray playing air keyboards. Sober. I have played air guitar. Would I like to watch an air guitar competition? After reading To Air Is Human I can say an enthusiastic "yes!"

Maybe it was the way Turoque described the performances that piqued my interest. The performer turned author makes the scenes come alive as if a movie crew had filmed To Air Is Human. Bjorn was filmed in the manner of MTV's Real World and has been interviewed on television talk shows. If you are a metal, acid, punk or classic rock fan, you will enjoy the music trivia. I am not a fan of the genre, nor familiar with all the songs and artists mentioned. Yet I know enough about the world of sex, drug and Rock & Roll to love reading about the air guitar competitors. I especially liked the wheelchair participant, Crane's Jewish mother's witticisms and his relationships with females. He names his latest lady Air Jane. They met when she was selected to do research for a magazine article to determine if Frenchmen are the best French kissers.

Why would a non-Frenchman be chosen to participate in that contest? The answer to that can be found in the 285 pages of To Air Is Human. Crane may have erred as he traveled the road from boyhood dreams to air guitar player championship, but he did not err when writing this book. I rate it with a quote from the movie Wayne's World: Excellent. Published by The Penguin Group in 2006, To Air Is Human has 3 full page black and white photos, two pages of smaller photos from the 2005 Los Angeles Air Guitar Competition. Appendix B, Where Are They Now, has more photos of air guitar competitors. Appendix A is titled: Bjorn Turoque's Ten Greatest Competitive Air Guitar Songs of All Time. See Bjorn Turoque's website for purchasing info.