To the Brink of Insanity and Back: Why I Have Stopped Trying to Figure Women Out

I guess I've always known it in my heart; when I was about five years old I told my mom I would never get married. It's just a simple fact of life that women are impossible for men to figure out; I doubt even Dr. Phil would honestly say that he truly understands them. I guess, however, that it works both ways; women don't seem to understand men either.

Maybe it goes back to the realization that all people have some mild form of multiple personality disorder, but it seems to be much more complicated than that. I think I was in high school when I came up with my first of many answers to the age old question; "What do women want?" I decided, at that time, that it was all actually very simple. Women want what they can't have. Please hold all angry emails until you have read the entire article.

You see, I had more female friends in high school than male friends. I guess this is because I was a nice guy, unfortunately it is true what they say, nice guys finish last. See, I learned from my time speaking with, and getting to know, these women that even they don't really know what they want. Oh sure they all said they wanted a nice guy who would treat them the way they wanted to be treated, and love them the way they wanted to be loved, protect them the way they wanted to be protected, and essentially worship the ground they walked on. However, when presented with just such a guy, myself of course, they had no real interest beyond being friends.

I couldn't figure out why these girls would come crying to me about all the terrible things their boyfriends would do to them, or behind their backs, and then pass on the opportunity to be with the very kind of person they claimed to want to be with; this was very frustrating for me to say the least. It didn't make much sense to me. Then, it finally hit me; I realized that by their way of thinking good men were no fun, and fun men were no good.

Now, me being the practical person I am, I figured it would be simpler to be with someone who would treat me with respect, and maybe give up some of the excitement, not that I'm boring but I stayed far from most trouble. However, it became apparent to me that this was not how women's minds worked. So much for women being the more practical of the sexes.

So throughout my life I spent much time contemplating this conundrum, obviously to no avail. I found a few women that seemed to know what they wanted; a nice guy, and attempted to have relationships with them. Apparently, however, we nice guys are just too boring. Most of these relationships ended because somewhere down the line these women decided that excitement was more important than a man who treats you well, and whom you can trust.

Then, I tried another approach, I tried going with women who had been mistreated by the men they had previously been with. By my logic I figured these women would be the ones who would appreciate a nice guy. Guess what? I was wrong. These women, who would go on about how terribly they were treated, and all the things they keep these men happy, would end up on the other side of the spectrum completely. They are the ones who would take advantage of my good nature and who, eventually, I couldn't trust.

So, now what to do? Well, who knows? I have done everything I can think of to please the women I have been with. Don't get me wrong, I know I am far from perfect, but as guys go, I know I'm one of the better ones. But, where are all the nice girls? Well, it seems that the nice girls are the ones that have to be nice. In other words they are only nice to the men that treat them poorly. However, given the opportunity to be with someone good natured, they take advantage of them, becoming, in essence, the people they formally loathed. Now I am not saying that all women are this way, but from my experience, the majority of them are.

Here is another enigma when it comes to women. Why is it that women expect to know what they, women, want; when they don't even know themselves what it is they want? This has got to be the single most frustrating thing a man can have to deal with. I have also noticed that women say that they want their men to communicate with them better. However, again in my experience, this isn't true. It seems that when men are straight forward, and honest about what it is they want, women resent it.

I think what it comes down to is that because women don't really know what they want, or don't want to voice what it is they want for fear that they might change their mind later, that men shouldn't either. It seems that it is ok for a woman to say what they want a casual relationship, for example, but when a man says it they are labeled as users. It seems ok for a woman to say they want marriage and children, someone to hold them and tell them everything is going to be ok, but when a man says these things he's labeled as clingy, needy, or worse yet a stalker.

There seems to be a very big shift in today's world. The old world of the patriarchy and male run world is passing. All the while women are gaining more power and control. This, in itself, is not a bad thing. However, I would warn women against themselves. Don't take this opportunity to become just like the men you claim to hate. Hate mongers are hate mongers no matter what sex they are.

My advice to women is simply this; know what it is you really want. Second, don't ask where all the nice guys are, because chances are you know some but you don't know how to treat them. I'll tell you ladies a little secret. One third of the nice guys are taken. One third of them are currently being mistreated by women who claim to love them. And the last third are hiding like hell because they used to be the second third. Remember, relationships must be give and take, everything in balance. If you are not willing to give as much as you take, then you will just end up turning a nice guy into not such a nice guy, men can become jaded too.

Finally, my advice to men would be to be protective of your heart, your thoughts, your feelings, and your dreams. Really get to know a woman, as well as you can, before you open yourselves up to them completely. Women can be the most vindictive people going, and will use your hopes and fears against you, so be careful.