To the Brink of Insanity and Beyond

Struggling with infertility can drive a couple to the brink of insanity and back. While I have had six children, I have struggled with infertility. Although, in my case, it was considered "secondary infertility." After numerous miscarriages and no understanding of why things kept going wrong with our pregnancies, I began researching infertility and secondary infertility. I practically drove my poor husband insane!

I began haunting "Trying to Conceive" message boards, I began searching for forums dedicated to secondary infertility, and I began charting my monthly cycles. Yes, I had things right down to the day and time that would be a good time for my husband and I to "baby dance." (As being intimate is affectionately called in the trying to conceive and infertility forums.)

I suppose I could have simply not tried to conceive again. After all, I did already have five children. But my husband and I wanted one more. So, I proceeded to practically drive us both crazy! Between parenting the five children we already had, trying to conceive number six, and then me questioning my womanhood- I'm not certain how we survived those months without completely falling off the edge of sanity.

What I have found completely ironic about the entire experience is the fact that I learned more about how pregnancy and conception were supposed to work, than I had learned during my pregnancies with the five children I already had. And sometimes, there is such a thing as too much information. I discovered that there are things the body does that are actually rather "gross," and I discovered that it's a lot more difficult to get pregnant than I had ever imagined.

Finally, I discovered that- at least for me- trying to conceive didn't work. It wasn't until my husband and I actually stopped "trying", that we ended up pregnant with baby number six. I guess in our case, it was a matter of trying too hard. Lesson learned.

And I've decided I like being intimate with my husband on a more spontaneous level, rather than trying to time things around certain times of the month. When being intimate starts sounding like a job or a chore- it just might be time to give trying to conceive a break.

I now have the sixth child that my husband and I wanted- and I'm quite certain he's relieved that I'm no longer "charting!"