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Speaking English is necessary for most success in the U.S. Business transactions are typically done in English. Drivers ought to be able to read signs and voters definitely need to be able to read ballots. Life is easier when there is no need for an interpreter.

The U.S. can be a dangerous place. Thieves who try to take advantage of people who don't understand English are one of the reasons it is important to learn it. They also try to take advantage of the very young and the very old, among other target groups. People who fall into more than one of these categories are a criminal's dream. Self-protection calls for being able to understand the language.

This does not mean that all other languages need to be eradicated from their speakers' memories. Having all Americans understand English is important, but eliminating all other languages would be throwing out the baby with the bath water.

The idea of making English the only language in this country is absurd. It would interfere with international commerce, on which the economy depends, and it would eliminate the opportunities to study foreign languages. Closing the borders would be a xenophobic exercise in futility. It would be a challenge to the founders of this country, which has been known as the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Are the one-language enthusiasts jealous because they passed up their chances to learn any other languages? Do they get nervous when they hear people speaking languages they don't understand? Do they think the speakers might be saying bad things about them? The subject matter probably has absolutely nothing to do with them.

One of the most annoying things about the complaints from the English-only crowd is that they contain so many spelling and grammar errors. The very people who are criticizing the speakers of more than one language can't seem to grasp a single one. If they are so insistent on their language being the only one, they ought to learn it themselves! This is like when holier-than-thou loudmouths turn into drunker-than-skunks domestic abusers every night. Oh yeah, some of them are the same people.

If they want to avoid everything that isn't English, they shouldn't use chandeliers or saunas. They shouldn't watch karate or sing karaoke. They shouldn't compose resumes when they are searching for jobs. They shouldn't wear negligees or brassieres. They shouldn't park their cars in garages. They might as well forget about anything related to science or medicine. They shouldn't drink martinis or champagne.

Whoever believes that any language except English should be excluded from this country should not be eating pizza, spaghetti, tacos, chow mein, lo mein, hors d'oeuvres, quiche, enchiladas, sushi, kielbasa, nachos, burritos, sukiyaki, pierogi, gwumpki, ravioli, shish kabobs, lasagna or hamburgers. What does that leave? It leaves sandwiches and chop suey. Well, they're both good. Bon appetit.