To Marie Claire: Why Obesity Isn't Always Controllable, and Why Maura Kelly's Apology Isn't Enough

If you haven't heard, Marie Claire blogger--and admitted "former anorexic"--Maura Kelly recently wrote a scathing blog post about her disgust for obese people, admitting that "I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other...because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything."

But she also claims that "obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it."

Now I won't even get into how demeaning and degrading her comments were--that's already been established (Marie Claire claims 27,000 angry readers have already sent them emails over the matter). But is it necessarily true that overweight or obese people simply have to "put their minds to it" to will away the weight?

Lisa, a writer who's also been in Kelly's shoes as an eating disorder sufferer, says it isn't.

"I have fought with my self image all my life. As a teen I was bulimic/anorexic, until about the age of 22. It wasn't until I became pregnant with my first child that I realized what a toll trying to be "perfect" was taking on my body," says Lisa.

"Now I am overweight even though I read labels, watch my portions and what I eat. I have a very active lifestyle chasing down two preschoolers. I'm not lazy, stupid, or uneducated, but due to medications during my pregnancies I have a hard time losing weight."

Alice*, who also battled an eating disorder, also contributed her weight gain to medications--not overeating or a lack of willpower.

"I was required to take antipsychotics as part of my schizophrenia treatment in 2008-2009. I resisted medication at first because I was wary of their weight-gaining properties, but it got to the point where I was incapable of functioning without medication," says Alice.

"It was a last resort. So I bit the bullet and started antipsychotics. Despite spending 2 hours a day at the gym, consistently, and living on carrot sticks and water, my weight continued to balloon - even whilst on a small dose of antipsychotics. My treatment team kindly introduced a mood stabiliser [sic] to my regime and I gained even more weight. At my heaviest I was a few pounds shy of being overweight."

In regards to Kelly's "fatties" rant, Alice also has this to say:

"The point I am trying to make, semantics aside though is that there are people who have severe mental illnesses and are unable to function without medications that make them put on a lot of weight. As a writer you have a responsibility and are in a position of influence. My advice to you [Maura Kelly] is to use this power wisely, and at your age you should have more empathy and consideration for such issues, given your history of disordered eating. The underlying militant and patronising [sic] tone of your 'diet tips' adds fuel to the fire."

Other writers also shared their thoughts on how hard it was for them to lose weight--and why Kelly is simply dead wrong on this matter.

Says Melissa*: "7 years ago I was carefully watching my diet only eating about 1600 calories (which I was over 250 at the time) and working out doing 30 minutes of cardio 5-6 times a week, then 3 days a week would work with a personal trainer doing strength training. The days I didn't see the trainer I would add 30 minutes to my cardio. I literally did not lose a pound. My trainer could not understand what was going on. I got so frustrated that after a year I quit. And you know what - even after not working out and eating unhealthy my weight stayed the same."

Says Angel, a writer for Associated Content: "My husband says I don't eat enough to keep a bird alive and yet, I'm overweight. I am one of those with multiple health problems that make it hard to lose though...autoimmune condition, hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia, pre-diabetes. I eat low carb most of the time and had lost 25 pounds, then developed a heart condition and was put on a low fat diet and gained 14 pounds back in ONE month. Yes, eating a healthy, low fat diet. I'm back on low carb but have only lost a pound and a half so far. For some people, weight loss is not easy at all."

Michelle, a freelance writer, has this to say: "I weigh 244 pounds at the moment. I am considered overweight, unfortunately. I probably have been for a long while. Per The Daily Plate's recommendations, I eat between 2000 and 2300 calories a day. I honestly try to eat fewer to try and lose weight more quickly. I exercise between 30 minutes and an hour today. I stretch, walk, and weight lift. She [Maura Kelly] needs to know that not every normal person has the money for a personal trainer, dietitian, and a personal chef to ensure they stay the "ideal size." If I did, I think I'd probably be lighter. Also, I do put my mind to it EVERY week, and somehow, I don't lose weight very quickly, even though I try my hardest to work at it. Overall, she doesn't know what she's talking about."

Says Jan, who also writes for Associated Content: "I weighed 125 at 5'6'' inches but gained 30 pounds on steroids and have lost all but 10 of those pounds. I was considered overweight at 155 but only by a bit. However, I had to buy all new clothes. Low thyroid keeps me from losing weight easily. If I have to take steroids for inflammation I can count on weight gain. I would like to tell Kelly that medications can cause weight gain, including those for depression as well as steroids. It is not always a situation of willpower!"

Whitney also has this to say about Kelly's comments: "I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) which causes me to maintain weight and makes it harder to lose. There was actually a woman on Jackie Warner's Thintervention who had PCOS that made it harder for her to lose weight. I also agree with Michelle that most of us 'real' women don't have access to the things that stars would. Even if I were to exercise and eat healthier than I am starting to, I would not lose the weight as fast as most women would. I think the author of that article is stupid and biased. Come talk to some of us real women who don't have time or money to be a stick."

My Thoughts

Although being clinically overweight or obese can be sometimes attributed to poor eating and exercise habits, I think it's unfair that Kelly implies this is the only cause. Simply eating right, exercising regularly, and getting plenty of fiber isn't always going to cut it if you have a medical condition, are taking certain medications or have a poor metabolism. Kelly did mention in her apology that she realizes some people have a harder time losing weight, but I don't think she's truly informed on what really causes obesity. If she really was, she wouldn't have said obesity is a totally controllable condition, nor would she have given diet tips as the only solution to this epidemic.

Moreover, I am disturbed by her unwillingness to apologize to the people she hurt in her original post on MarieClaire.com. Sure, she apologized for coming off as a bully--but she never said she was sorry to the Marie Claire readers that fall into the obese spectrum. According to their comments, they say they feel hurt, ashamed and degraded by her.

To you, Maura Kelly: Regardless of what you feel constitutes good health, it doesn't make it okay to make deliberately hurtful, demeaning comments about a person's size. Your history of having an eating disorder may explain why you feel this way, but it certainly doesn't excuse your comments. In fact, comments like that often fuel the very disorder you claim you're recovered from, . And you know what? That's never, ever okay.

*Names have been changed to protect their identity.

Sources:
Maura Kelly, "Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?)" (MarieClaire.com)