Toddlers and Tiara's, Not All Pageants Are like That

I watched a few episodes of Toddlers and Tiara's this weekend. I have to admit that it left me somewhat horrified. First, I was horrified because I'd had my own child in pageants for a few years. Second I was horrified because I don't want people to think that I put my child through that kind of experience. Third, I was horrified because it was... well, horrific.

The TV show, Toddlers and Tiara's is about glitz pageants for preschool aged children. I haven't seen them feature a child over 6 years old, hence the distinction of "Toddlers" in the title. The show takes you through the stages of preparing for a glitz pageant which means vanity treatments meant for the most fearless women like waxing, tanning, and squeezing into uncomfortable clothing. These are things a sixteen year old should not have to worry about, let alone a child between the ages of two and six.

With that said, I feel like I need to defend pageants in general. Some of the most notable women in TV, media, and film today have been pageant winners and contestants. To name just a few, there is Halle Berry, Oprah Winfrey, Delta Burke, Kathy Lee Gifford, Sarah Palin, Diane Sawyer, Sharon Stone, and Vanessa Williams. Pageants really do teach children to be poised, to be able to speak in public and in front of large audiences, and carry themselves well. It makes shy girls more outgoing, and can be used as a springboard to many great things. The thing is, that none of these ladies mentioned were in the kind of pageants that are being depicted on reality TV.

Like my daughter, who did pageants from age 9 to 12, the pageants focused on natural beauty, with age appropriate makeup only. They weren't allowed to wear fake hair, and their dresses had to be tasteful and not overpowering. Interviews were an important part of the process, and while having a pretty smile didn't hurt, attitude (a good attitude) usually was the thing that set the winner apart.

Now, my daughter has no desire to do a pageant again, at least in the short term. She did feel a bit more of a competitive attitude than she wanted to deal with. She also felt that the "make friends for life" line fed to us by the pageant promoters was a crock. Still, pageants were the first step for her to move into acting and theater as she thoroughly enjoyed the talent portion and discovered that sharing her talents were more important that winning a crown.

If you are interested in putting your child in pageants, It is important that you understand the difference between natural and glitz pageantsand what is expected of a child in each. You should also be aware of the costs of pageants. Finally, you should not get so invested that your child is not allowed to make the decision to continue or to stopdoing pageants and move on to the next activity.Most importantly, attend the competitions that you are considering entering your daughter into it to make sure it is the kind of pageant and organization you want your child in.