Too Late to Say Sorry, Too Early to Grieve

Regret stings inside me.

I can feel my tears at the brim of my eyes.
Confusion settling itself in an emotional pit at the back of my mind.

I was never around!
I was never a sound.
No childhood giggles to fill your heart.
No baby girl smiles to fill your eyes.
Inconsistent memories that faded way to fast for me to even grasp.
The distance has knotted and tangled itself in the pit of my stomach making me sick.
My thoughts are a scattered mess.
My feelings are in distress.
Remorse is appropriate at a time like this, but nothing seems to seep in.
No anger to forgive.
No, there is nothing to mend.
No words of wisdom.
No comfort to seek.
There's just a shelf full of feelings that I can't read.
It's too late to say sorry and too early to grieve.