Top 10 2010 New Year's Resolutions for the Senior Set

Being of sound mind and body, I hereby set down in my own hand this last will and testament.

Wait a minute. That's not what I was going to do. I was going to write my New Year's resolutions.

Okay. I'll try again.

Considering that I'm not as young as I used to be, I've decided to make it easy on myself this year and not make resolutions that will be impossible to keep.

Number 1: To my two children I leave my house, my car, and all my...........Drat it! I'm back on the will thing. Gotta stay focused here. Okay. Let's start over.

Resolution #1: Looking better already. Let's see now. Guess I should put my health in the forefront here if I want to live to keep the resolutions all year. So I resolve to eat more bran this year. I'm not really sure why everyone keeps harping on bran, but since they do, it must be good for you. They keep talking about "regularity" so I guess it must help regulate your heartbeat. Think I'll see if I can put it in my pancakes and then top them off with lots of butter and that great waffle and pancake syrup. Yum!

Resolution #2. I resolve not to worry about losing weight this year. What does it matter, anyway? If I should get slim, all my girl friends would hate me and all the guys would want me, and I'm just too tired for all that foolishness.

Resolution $3. I resolve to get more exercise. Some days I may even get dressed. A trip to the mailbox should be exercise enough, since it's all the way out on the porch.

Resolution #4. This year I'm going to try really hard to be nicer to people. Unless they tick me off, in which case they'd better watch out!

Resolution %5. I resolve to establish a special place to put my eyeglasses and teeth when I'm not using them. I spend entirely too much time looking for them and you just can't do some things without them.

Resolution &6. This year I'm going to work harder to convince my husband to get a hearing aid. He mumbles all the time and then accuses me of mumbling and I'm getting plenty tired of it.

Resolution #7. All this year I resolve to work on improving my memory. Not that it's all that bad. It's just that all my memory files are full and therefore it takes too long to find something among all the other bits of knowledge filed up there.

Resolution @8. Sometime in the coming year I plan to find a way to get a computer with large enough numbers, letters, and characters so I can see what I'm hitting. Who do they make these frickin' things for anyway? Certainly not people with normal vision.

Resolution #9. This year I resolve to make new friends. Younger ones. All my old friends are either passing on or forgetting who I am. Bless their hearts.

Resolution %10. I resolve this year to work on improving my memory. Not that it's all that bad, but sometimes things slip my mind a bit.

There are surely lots of other things I could do to improve myself and my life in 2010, but these should be enough to keep me busy.

Happy New Year, everyone. Whatever else you resolve to do this year, do resolve to drop by for a visit any time. We'd love to see you, and there's even a good chance we'd recognize you right off.