TOP 10 Americanized Accessories

Folks, they got us. Hook, line, and sinker. Despite the new gadget being overpriced, enjoying it is not even possible without "that perfect compliment." Hog wash.

Accessories weigh down lives like a half grown twin attached at the head. So in honor of that festive note, and all the new presents bought this holiday season, here is a Top 10 Americanized Accessories list.

10. iPod

In the malls it is apparent iPod mania has taken over. Beware of chargers that seem to have too low of prices. Don't rely on any Geek to know what works with what. Use common sense. For example, RadioShack and other retailers were selling iPod Nano chargers for $10. This is because they only worked with the older versions of the Nano. Half the people that snagged them probably bought the wrong part and never knew any better. The other half got lucky.

Be extra careful with items not made by Apple themselves.

Oh, and have you seen this Toilet Paper Dispenser iPod?

9. The War On Money

Besides the drug dealers themselves, nobody makes more off drugs than those who make products for those who use or deal those drugs. Think about it, for every sack of dope there is a Zip Lock bag to go with it.

Fun little facts to chew on:

Did you know that people who use Ecstasy often inhale Vicks inhalers?

People who smoke marijuana are more prone to for a late trip to 7-11 so they can buy a blunt to fill with pot.

Coke heads use straws.

Heroin junkies like needles.

Point being, whether the intentions are just or not, the American economy works in mysterious ways.

8. Satellite Radio

The Satellite Radio industry is over run with accessories. XM and Sirius both. Sirius has gotten a little smarter in making universal accessories for the newer model radios. Some even work with the iPod. XM must go in this same direction.

Top thing to watch for is outdated equipment. The FCC has regulated the FM modulator signal strength for Satellite Radios, with many of the older Car and Home Cradles not being compliant with new radios. The exact same receivers are being made but with weaker reception. Old works with old. New works with new. Be sure to research any deal that looks too good.

7. Ketchup

Eat a steak with ketchup. Drink water with ice. Buy the new Britta filter. Pay the extra $0.25 for a packet of ranch. Bring a mint for after dinner. Gravy on mashed potatoes. Butter. Sugar. Salt. Pepper. Sprinkles on ice cream. And a cherry on top.

6. Cars

Rims, bumper stickers, trailers, car repair shops up sell; this industry has exposed any chump with too much money and a strong desire to get laid. Get a clue people.

Things to consider when buying a car should be safety, security, speed, space, and budget. Yes, budget. Spending more money than you've made in the past year on a car with limo lights is padded walls dumb.

5. The Fanny Pack

Oh yes, the accessory to store accessories....on-the-go. Brilliant. God awful. Brilliant.

Damn, I wish I thought of that.

4. The Dell Way

Build your own computer. Great idea. Oh and while you are at it, maybe you would like a pair of headphones? Extended warranty? Extra Memory? If you plan on gaming you will need a better graphics card. For just another dollar you can have a printer that photocopies your ass to perfection. And a cherry on top. It's so easy to buy a cave man can do it.

A fun way to spend money.

If you have not visited Dell.com lately, do it now, and take notes. That is how you design a website to get people what they want--and much more!

3.Cell Phones

Everywhere people walk around talking to themselves. Upon further examination, many have something plugged in their ear or a camera capturing a few meaningless moments.

Cell phone gel cases. Carry cases. Keyboard.

They say a cell phone would come out that could do everything. That time has pretty much come if you spend enough money. And yeah, buy the right accessories. And then the upgrades.

2. Sports

Guns, bullets, paint balls, masks, cleaner, targets, sling-shot, water balloon, pepper spray, dart, arrow, and on and on. The self-defense industry is ripe with gimmicks, as it should be.

Instructional video so your kid can be the greatest athlete since you wish you could be.

A hoop, net, ball, court, tee, personal trainer, Gator-Aid, electrolytes, its gotta be the shoes.

I can jump higher, run faster, look better, feel young, bench press my girlfriend 30 times...with each arm. I am a winner. But first I'll need a headband to go with my vintage pull-up socks.

1. Microsoft

They control everything. Windows Vista will be much of the same. New platform. More ways to outdate the competition.

Expect Vista to be another shameless up sell. Or as they say, "upgrade." Yeah, whatever.