Top 10 "Dandy" Don Meredith Monday Night Football Quotes

As sad as it was to hear the news that former Dallas Cowboys quarterback and Monday Night Football announcer "Dandy" Don Meredith had passed away, it was ironic that the news hit the street on a Monday during football season.

It was also fitting in a way that Don Meredith's passing came in the 40th anniversary of Monday Night Football, the first 35 on ABC, the last five on ESPN.

"Dandy" Don Meredith was just 32 years old and a few months into his retirement as an NFL quarterback, almost a full decade younger than current Minnesota QB Brett Favre, when Dandy Don transitioned into the ABC broadcasting booth.

"Dandy" Don Meredith was a much needed antidote to the verbose, egotistical blowhard Howard Cosell and the uber-bland Frank Gifford. Cosell often went on rants about any subject known to man, using the MNF booth as a personal soapbox on subjects that often included football.

In a 1988 book called Monday Night Mayhem, it was revealed that Howard Cosell, who had a testy relationship with his coworkers on MNF and most everyone he came into contact with, was often soused on vodka in the latter years he was on the show. Cosell was said to have barfed on a pair of Don Meredith's cowboy boots.

As seriously as "Humble" Howard Cosell took himself and the NFL, "Dandy" Don Meredith was always there to bring levity and sometimes insight into the game, never taking either the game or Howard too seriously.

Here are my top 10 favorite Dandy Don Meredith quotes from Monday Night Football in a career in the booth that ran from 1970-1974 and in a second stint from 1977-1984 on ABC after going to NBC for three years.

I Just Haven't Met You Yet....
In the very first Monday Night Football game between the New York Jets and the Cleveland Browns, Cleveland had a receiver with the unfortunate moniker of Fair Hooker. Really, that was the guy's name. Dandy Don stated: "Fair Hooker, that's a great name, isn't it? But I haven't met one yet". In 1970, the network censors probably needed CPR following that Dandy Don comment.

Now you tell me...
Also in the inaugural season on MNF, as his former team the Dallas Cowboys were on the wrong end of a 38-0 thrashing at the hands of the then St. Louis Cardinals a group of Dallas fans chanted "we want Meredith!" Many Cowboy fans had been booing Meredith for years, as Dandy Don replied: "no way you're gettin' me down there!"

That John Denver is full of $#!#...
At a Monday Night Football game in Denver, Dandy Don Meredith exclaimed: "We're in the Mile High City and I really am..."

Gesundheit!
After Howard Cosell droned on about a coach "eschewing the field goal" in an attempt to show off his expansive vocabulary as "Howad" was prone to do, Dandy Don intoned: "S-what Howard?"

Was it an orange jump suit?
Howard Cosell, who was a frustrated news anchor at heart and often liked to have celebrity big shots and political mucketty-mucks in the MNF booth for interviews, had future felon Spiro Agnew, the sitting Vice President in the booth. Dandy Don Meredith: "I didn't vote for you, but you do have a nice suit on". Dandy Don also referred to Agnew's boss as "Tricky Dick" on the air...

Offensive Whiz...
In one MNF game in Miami, an obviously inebriated fan ran across the field during a time out prompting Howard Cosell to go on one of his long rants. After five minutes or so, Dandy Don had apparently had enough responding: "maybe the bathroom lines were too long on his side of the stadium, Howard"

Can You Smell What Raquel Is Cookin'?
In describing what it was like to play for Tom Landry, a man Dandy's Don Meredith's teammate Walt Garrison once said when asked if he had ever seen Landry smile said "no, but I've only been here 9 years", Meredith quipped: "Tom Landry is such a perfectionist, if he was married to Raquel Welch, he'd expect her to cook."

The Whole 4 Yards?
Don Meredith once said of Walt Garrison, a Dallas running back who was a real Cowboy and not known for his speed, "if you needed 4 yards, you'd give the ball to Walt and he would get you 4 yards. If you needed 20 yards, Walt would get you 4 yards"...

That Finger's Not Made Of Foam..
As the powerful Oakland Raiders destroyed the then Houston Oilers 34-0 in the Houston Astrodome in a 1974 Monday Night Football game, the ABC cameras caught a rotund Oiler fan alone in his section sleeping late in the contest. The man awoke to discover he was being watched, and flipped the camera the bird. "There's an Oiler fan who still thinks his team is #1" Meredith quipped.

Just Hold The Nutts, Please
In a late season MNF telecast, as Howard Cosell droned on incessantly about all the different playoff possibilities, fitting for the Christmas season, Dandy Don Meredith said: "if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas."

Yes, there was irony in Don Meredith passing on a Sunday and the news hitting the airwaves on a Monday during football season.

Perhaps the main thing Don Meredith is remembered for on MNF is breaking into an offkey rendition of a Willie Nelson song when the game was pretty much decided. Turn out the lights, the party's over, they say that all good things must end and so it is with former Dallas Cowboy quarterback and football broadcaster Don Meredith... rest in peace Dandy Don...