Top 10 Dating Red Flags

Dating is expensive. It's not just the money - it's the time spent grooming and the investment of all that emotional energy in hoping he's great and wondering what will happen. And there's the opportunity cost! Time spent with one guy is time you can't spend with someone better!

No, your time, money, and beauty products are too valuable to waste on a guy not worth the nail polish you removed in order to match your fingers to your toes.

It's crucial to develop a sensitive radar that can detect the subtle red flag moments that tell you, "This guy is not worth shaving my legs for." There are some of the obvious things - he lives with his parents when he's over the age of 30, his socks don't match, he talks about his ex all the time, he's had no relationships that lasted longer than a year, he's totally self-absorbed, etc etc. But there are some subtler cues I've learned to recognize over my years of dating fiascos that I will share with you. I hope my bad dates will help you avoid some of your own:

Dating Red Flag10. When you're on a date, he talks trash about an ex. It doesn't matter how much of a bitch she was - good men accept at least some responsibility for every break up and they speak respectfully about other people, no matter what. (Incidentally, check yourself for this one.)

Dating Red Flag 9. He talks trash about his mom. A guy who doesn't have some respect for his mom, even if she left him on a doorstep, won't really respect for you. Bad date!

Dating Red Flag 8. He moves in for the kiss way too soon. If he can't tell that you're not interested in all that yet, he will never be able to tell what you're interested in.

Dating Red Flag 7. He never moves in for the kiss. If you're ready, willing, and able, and he isn't reading the signals, he'll never be able to read the signals.

Dating Red Flag 6. His place is a mess the first time you come over. You'd clean up your place before he came over - you'd at least stuff all that random crap in the closet and jimmy the door shut. If he couldn't put in the effort to clean up a little, what effort will he ever put in?

Dating Red Flag 5. He can't cook. It's a well known fact that men who cook are better in bed - they're more sensual, more responsive, more attentive, and know how to do one thing with their hands while they do something else with their mouths.

Dating Red Flag 4. He has a habit or a personal style - for example, answering the question, "How was your day?" with a blow-by-blow description of everything he did every hour from the moment he woke up until the moment you asked him how his day was - and you catch yourself thinking, "But that can change." No it can't. It won't change on it's own, he can't change it, it won't change. People don't change, they just learn to deal with the problems they have.

Dating Red Flag 3. He has no kids, no pets, no fish, not even any plants. If the only thing that lives in his place other than him is the mold in the back of his fridge, he's a non-starter. A guy who can't even commit to keeping a spider plant alive does not have what it takes to keep a relationship alive.

Dating Red Flag 2. He's over 40 and he's never been in a committed relationship. If he hasn't done it by then, he never will. He's had about 20 years to meet the right girl; by now, it's not the girls. It's him. It doesn't matter how great you are, he'll never commit because he just doesn't know how. So why should you?

Dating Red Flag 1. He's talking about a past relationship and you catch yourself thinking, "As long as he doesn't do it me…" He will do it to you. No matter how crazy he says the other girl was, no matter how much better you are being a loving, accepting girlfriend. He will. Can you cope with that? If not, ditch him now.

Good men are out there, ladies. I firmly believe that. Don't let the nonsense of the unfit stand between you and a man who can stand on his own two feet, keep a plant alive, clean his apartment, and kiss you right when you want to be kissed!