Top 10 Dumb Things Guys Have Said to Me (Really!)

The following is a list of things (as best as I can remember them) that have been said to me by both guy friends and boyfriends over the years. I think of them as humorous now, but they weren't always so funny at the time they were said.

(Don't think that I am being sexist- see Top 10 Dumb Things that Women Say to Guys for the flip side)

Some of the things below are just harsh to say to a girlfriend. Some of just downright funny. Others show the ignorance many guys suffer from when it comes to women.

These are listed in no particular order.

10. "You'd be hot if you lost 10 or 15 pounds."

This one was especially hurtful since I had just given birth about six months before. Add that to the fact that I was eating healthfully, exercising regularly, and my weight was in the healthy range for my age and height, and you can see why I was insulted.

9. "Do you have a hot sister?"

I don't really think that I need to explain this one.

8. "Hey, would you have sex with my friend? He's been really depressed lately?"

This one is insulting for lots of reasons. A few are: I'm not a call girl; I'm not one to go to for pity sex; I'm not that stupid. It was said in partial-jest; you know how you can tell when someone tries to couch an embarrassing or weird request as a joke to see how you'll respond? That's how this came across to me. Still it is a very condescending and mean thing to say to a woman.

7. "How come your butt doesn't look like the chicks' in porno movies?"

Again, I don't really feel that I need to elaborate.

6. "I don't know how you feel about this relationship, but I just didn't want you to start making any plans to marry me."

This was "the talk" I was given after casually seeing someone for about three weeks. Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it...

5. "What's your favorite sex position?"

This might be okay after you've been with someone a while and have actually had sex with them. Don't get ahead of yourself!

4. "Do you care if I ask that girl if she'd be interested in a threesome?"

Umm, maybe. (You think?)

3. "Don't you think you've had enough to eat?"

I am not super thin, but neither am I overweight. Just assume that most women are sensitive about their weight and keep your opinions to yourself. (Times when it's okay to bend the rules: if you are close enough friends with someone that is obviously suffering from health problems due to being over- or under- weight. Be prepared to have an angry friend either way.)

2. "I wonder why so many more women have blonde hair than men."

Mmm-hmm. Because they dye it? Nope, that can't be it.

1. "Do you mind waiting in the car while I pick up some pornos in this store?"

Classy. Makes a girl feel like a lady.