Top 10 Hilarious Christmas Card Quotes

Believe it or not, Christmas is right around the corner. Get a jump start on your holiday To-Do list by getting your Christmas cards ready now. If you usually purchase Christmas cards to send to friends and family, consider making them yourself. They are very simply to make and they offer that special, homemade touch. Add a little sprinkle of humor to your handmade Christmas cards this year with these hilarious holiday quotes.

1. "Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."
~ Anonymous

2. "You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger."
~ Robert Paul"

3. "Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."
~ W.C. Fields

4. "A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing."
~ Jay Leno.

5. "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
~ Shirley Temple

6. "Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present."
~ Anonymous

7. "Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"
~ Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

8. The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband."
~ Joan Rivers

9. "Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know... the birth of Santa."
~ Bart Simpson

10. "I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed."
~ Charlie Brown

If you don't see anything you like above, here are a few tips for coming up with clever quotes to add to your Christmas cards. Think of your favorite funny Christmas movies. Are there any lines you could use from those movies? How about your favorite holiday books? You could even create your own little funny story from your own experience. I'm sure we all have them. Lastly, you could try performing a Google search for Christmas jokes and see if you find anything worthwhile to use on your cards. Good luck!