Top 10 Imaginary Celebrity New Year's Resolutions for 2009

Let's be honest - New Year's resolutions for Hollywood celebrities (and the rest of us) are basically meant to be broken. In the spirit of the holidays, I thought I'd compile a fun little imaginary list of my own.

Britney Spears:

• Make better choices than K-Fed when it comes to men.
• Wear underwear on a daily basis, especially underneath dresses in public.
• Find healthier girlfriends to spend time with other than Lindsay and Paris.

  Tom Cruise:

• Finally admit that keeping baby Suri under wraps for so long was mildly suspicious.
• Stop trying to convert friends, co-stars, and exes to the Church of Scientology.
• Keep feet firmly planted on the ground and not on Oprah Winfrey's couch.

  Nicole Richie:

• Eat something.
• Eat something.
• Eat something.

  Jude Law:

• Only hire male nannies to watch the children.
• Do not get back together with Sienna Miller for the twentieth time.
• Find a woman to date with less of a penchant for shacking up with co-stars.

  Paris Hilton:

• Get a real job other than just being a party girl.
• Stop pretending to be a born-again virgin who plans to swear off sex for a year.
• Lose the catch phrase, "That's Hot" since we're all sick of hearing it by now.

  Angelina Jolie:

• Adopt a couple more kids and pray that Brad Pitt continues to stick around.
• Make peace with all of the women left in the dust starting with Jennifer Aniston.
• Hope that gay marriage is legalized so that Brad won't have any excuses not to get married.

  Paul McCartney:

• Perform thorough background checks on all future girlfriends.
• Start work on new album to increase cash flow.
• Prepare an iron clad pre-nup to protect $1.5 billion empire from next wife.

  Nick Lachey:

• Cut back on the addiction to spray tanning.
• Expand wardrobe beyond jeans and white undershirts.
• Admit that more notoriety came from The Newlyweds than from years spent with 98 Degrees.

  Kevin Federline:

• Buy condoms in bulk and actually use them.
• Stop wearing white ribbed tank tops and hire a new wardrobe stylist.
• Get a real job other than just being Britney's ex-husband.

  Tara Reid:

• Get a new agent.
• Cut back on the vampy black eyeliner.
• Find a new plastic surgeon, preferably one with a license to practice medicine in the US.

Celebrity Resolution Bios

Britney Spears

Paris Hilton

Lindsay Lohan

Scandalous Resolution Bios

Jennifer Aniston

Angelina Jolie

Tom Cruise

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