Top 10 Pieces of Exercise Equipment Sold Today

10. Suzanne Somers' "I Got it For You Because I Thought It'd Look Hot When You Used It."
9. The Ab-surd -- As in, "It's Ab-surd to think you're keg will become a six pack."
8. The Landice Conveyor Belt Summer Clothes Hanger
7. The Schwinn "Maybe We Can Get Decent Money For it at a Yard Sale".
6. The World Famous "You Spent $3000 on that when we live in a fifth floor walk-up?!?!?!??!?!"
5. Tony LIttle's "Hey honey, if it doesn't work as exercise equipment, it might be fun for that other thing you wanted to try."
4. Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley's "Whatever made me think I could workout using my own fat @$$ for resistance?"
3. The Soloflex "Did we really think we'd look like that guy and girl in the commercial if we used this?"
2. The Gold's Gym, "With their name on crap like this, it's no wonder their health clubs keep going bankrupt in town."
1. Oprah Winfrey's "Damn Girl, when you got Oprah money, you can be as fat as you wanna be." La-Z-Boy.