Top 10 Signs of a Clueless American Voter

10. You think Goldman Sachs is a department store, and AIG is just the text-message abbreviation for "all is good."

9. You're still checking the mail for your portion of that government stimulus plan.

8. You're not sure if Independence Day is the same holiday as the Fourth of July.

7. You can recite all the words to your favorite rock group's songs, but you don't know what's really in the First Amendment freedom of religion clause.

6. You can name every American Idol or Superbowl winner, but not the 2nd, 3rd and 16th Presidents of the United States (clue - these are really famous guys).

5. You don't realize that smoking is no longer regarded as one of your many valid choices as an American.

4. You struggle for an answer when someone asks you what state Washington, D.C. is in.

3. You think an illegal alien is someone who came in on a UFO that the government denies ever existed.

2. You believe it's politically incorrect and intolerant to use the phrase "extreme Islamic terrorism" to describe extreme Islamic terrorism.

1. And the Number One Sign: You lost your job, your house has been foreclosed and your 401K plan is gone, but you still vote for politicians 'cause you recognize their name or they look good and talk nice.

Results:
-If you suffer from three or less of these signs: Congrats! You're pretty well-informed, but could still do better.
-If you suffer from four to six of these signs: Go back to school - oh wait, they don't teach this stuff any more.
-If you suffer from seven or more of these signs: Get a clue! The hardest are listed below.

(Clue for the clueless to #10: see here at Real Clear Markets or here at ABC News.)
(Clue for the clueless to #7: go here.)
(Clue for the clueless to #6: John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln. In that order.)

© 2010, Sheryl Young. I certify this to be an original humor piece.
Sources(the above piece is a satire and doesn't represent the views of the sources cited):
Amendments to the U.S. Constitution: www.usconstitution.net.
"Goldman Sachs's AIG Double Dip?" James Keller, Real Clear Markets, 3/18/09.
"Goldman Sachs Expected to Post $2B Profit," David Muir and Sadie Bass, ABCNews, 7/13/09.