Top 10 Signs You Drink Too Much Diet Soda

10. Your Primary Care Physician is Dr. Pepper.
9. For years you thought the dew point on the weather forecast was the temperature you should chill your Mountain Dew to for the day.
8. You're stopped for suspicion of DUI and your Breathalyzer registers .20.... for Nutrasweet.
7. You named your daughter Fresca and your son Tab.
6. When you stopped recycling your cans, the price per pound of aluminum jumped 50 cents.
5. You got so many free songs off of Pepsi's I-Tunes Promotion that the FBI investigated you as a potential pirate.
4. Scientists have stopped studying the affects of saccharine on lab rats and have turned their attention to you.
3. While in the hospital, you ask that your IV drip be carbonated.
2. Your entire house is furnished with electronics you won off of bottle caps.
1. Your name is Crutnacker.