Top 10 Songs on Tiger Woods' iPod

There is a Tiger Woods joke that goes: Tiger drives well on the fairway, but doesn't fare well on the driveway.

There is another Tiger Woods joke that goes: what is the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Answer: Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball!

I submitted my own original Tiger Woods joke earlier on audio. One thing I might amend is the part about the movie of Tiger's life. Call it Crouching Tiger, Hidden Trollops.

Tiger has become the biggest butt of jokes in recent memory. Those of us who watch golf on television have often seen Tiger Woods wearing earbuds on the driving range awaiting his tee time. But what is Crouching Tiger listening to?

Just A Gigolo/David Lee Roth
Here are some rewritten lyrics to the old classic with Tiger Woods in mind: I'm just a gigolo, and everywhere I go, people say I pack a wallop, everyone knows I had a wife, but on me she pulled a knife, when she found out about my trollops...

With the news that the state of Nevada has legalized male prostitution, could the state be getting another famous resident? Tiger Woods may be needing a new home and a second job due to all the lost endorsements, just sayin'.

Drive/The Cars
Who's gonna drive you home tonight, Tiger?

Courtin' In A Cadillac/Jerry McCain
Does this one need any explanation? Speaking of someone named McCain, after that extremely revealing picture of Meghan McCain posted on John McCain's daughter's twitter account, Meghan might be getting a call from Ol' Tiger.

The Theme From George Of The Jungle/Weird Al Yankovic
Watch out for that tree!

Fire Hydrant #79/Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan
With Gatorade dropping Tiger Woods as a pitchman, water may have to be Tiger's beverage of choice now. Gatorade execs blanched at the thought of an ad slogan such as "Tiger Woods, is it in you?"

If I Never Knew You/Cheetah Girls
There has been talk of Tiger Woods changing his name to Cheetah and changing his sport to tennis. After all, Tiger's already up 15 love... Pancake hostesses and cocktail waitresses beware, there's a Tiger on the prowl!

Gimme Three Steps/Lynyrd Skynyrd
This song is the story of a man caught with a woman in a bar by her husband/lover/boyfriend. In Tiger Woods' case, he might have been pleading with wife Elin Nordegren as she brandished her "rescue club", "to "gimme three steps, gimme three steps, Elin, gimme three steps toward the door."

I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass/Nick Lowe
Tiger, you didn't really expect anyone to believe that preposterous story about Elin Nordegren breaking out the window of that Cadillac Escalade to "rescue you" after you were trapped inside after hitting a tree and a fire hydrant at low speed, did you?

Send Your Love/Glass Tiger
This Canadian band hasn't been heard from since the late 80's I guess, but the title and the band's name are oh so appropriate, huh? Does Tiger have a glass jaw? Only Elin Nordgren would know.

Flavor Of The Week/American Hi-Fi
I never know what to do or what to say to you, I look and you'll knock me out, put me on the floor with a 10 count. Those are the actual lyrics to this song. Really, I'm not making this up.

That's it, my take on some of the songs Tiger Woods might be listening to. More later.