Top 10 Stupid Things Not to Say to a Parent of a Child with Autism

#10 "They'll grow out of it, right?" Sure, just like people with Down Syndrome and mental retardation grow out of it. Although great gains can be made by individuals with autism, they are made by hard work, persistence, and lots of time.

#9 "Can't you just put them in a home?" I suppose I could. It may become a necessity when they become adults to have them live in an assisted living or creative housing arrangement. Still, this isn't something that is broached lightly. (although I'm sure there are times that parents with neurotypical children would love to ship their kids off somewhere, at least for a day...)

#8 "Why is he/she doing that?" I don't care what the child is doing, I can't speak for them. Generally odd-looking behaviors are stimulatory (aka stimming or stims) or tantrums. Stimming is something that will either calm or excite the child. They like doing these things because they make them feel safe or happy.

#7 "Oh, how do you do it?!" I wake up in the morning and live my life. How else do you think I do it?

#6 "God only gives us as much as we can handle. You must be very strong." Not to be too crass, but if God only gives us as much as we can handle, why do some people commit suicide? Why is there so much depression and anxiety involved in parenting?

#5 "I feel blessed to have healthy kids." Excuse me, but do you not understand what a back-handed compliment that is? My children are so "abnormal" that you feel blessed that yours aren't? Don't flatter yourself...

#4 "If you ever need help, just let me know." Unless you have experience with kids with autism and want to have experience with my children in particular, you don't know what you are volunteering for. I know you mean well, but...

#3 "Wow, it must be so hard!" Life is hard for most people.

#2 "Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if they were normal?" I shouldn't have to explain this one.

#1 "Oh, so they're like Rainman?" Nope. There are a few (around 1%) people with autism who truly have splinter skills, such as listing the day of the week any date landed on, memorizing sports stats, or perfect pitch. The majority of people with autism do not have these skills; however they will generally have unbalanced skills sets (maybe very good at math, but not reading, great fine motor but clumsy, underdeveloped gross motor, etc.)