Top 10 Things I Ponder at Christmas Time

10. Why is it all of the toys Santa brought me were wrapped with paper we had in the house and had Sears price tags?
9. Why is it that when a package says Some Assembly Required it doesn't say a PhD in engineering, and $400 in power tools are ALSO required.
8. If athletes get athletes feet, do soldiers get missile toe?
7. Why is it two of the most beloved Christmas specials for kids (Charlie Brown and Rudolph) center around people (including Santa) being incredibly mean to the main character.
6. Six geese a-laying five golden rings? Shouldn't it be five golden eggs?
5. And along those same lines, are any of the gifts on the twelve days of Christmas really something people want? Think about all of the bird cages you'd have to buy and all of the newspaper you'd have to get to line them. Okay, the ladies dancing part might be nice for a single guy.
4. Why don't we get paid holidays for all twelve days of Christmas? And if there are 12 days, is the 1st day also the "2nd Day of Christmas" Eve? Do I visit my in-laws on odd days and my own parents on the evens?
3. Does Santa still smoke a pipe? Do I need to put a non smoking sign on my chimney? Couldn't he help us all by cleaning the chimney as he goes down?
2. What is "nog" and what part of the egg does it come from?
1. Why does it take less time to remove a child's toy from the 37,000 twist ties in the package than it does for the child to break it?