Top 10 Uses for a Deflated Basketball

Lets say you've become the victim of sabotage, orchestrated by an ex girlfriend over something she concocted overnight in her delusional and paranoid mind(lets just say...) Your basketball now has an unsightly gash in it's hull, and air is hemorrhaging out in great amounts. Instead of throwing good ole' Spalding out with the trash, recycle by getting a little more use out of it instead.

Fruit bowl.
Depending on where you live, as well as the eating habits of other people in your dwelling, "snack pack bowl" would be a more likely use. Some people look look at an apple and smile. Others are more likely to tilt their heads to the side, raise an eyebrow and question what that red thing is beside the Reese's cups.

Dog chew toy.
Dogs sure do enjoy gnawing on leather. I remember laughing at my brother when he realized what was happening to his boots when our dog was left alone with them. Some basketballs are made out of leather. Asking your canine to trade your footwear for another hostage wouldn't hurt.

Frisbee.
Ultimate Frisbee is one of those weird hybrid games that combines elements from actual sports. The end result looks like an NFL game, without the impact, loud mouthed wide receivers, silly mascots or cheerleaders. using a heavier object(note: less aerodynamic) would ad more drama to this intriguing, yet easy looking game. Unfortunately, it still won't add cheerleaders.

Baseball strike zone.
Nail the thing to a tree, and just chuck baseballs at it. It's a nice way to work on your aim. Also, it's quite therapeutic. Pretend your target is that annoying co-worker shows up to work, reeking of booze and Cheetos, and always spoils the ending to movies that leaked on the internet before you get a chance to see them in theaters.

Basketball cozy.
This is a case of old meets new. Use the retired, not so spherical object to prop up and stabilize your still active and not as depressing inflated basketball. Or...

Ashtray.
...If for some reason you decide to let your hoop dreams go up in smoke, dump those ashes and butts in the bowels of your basketball. Unlike standard ashtrays, this one requires less maintenance because it can hold more without needing to be emptied out.

Home base.
Growing up in the south, I had to make due with what I had.
and what I had was a lot of miscellaneous objects in place of standard sports equipment. A flat basketball makes for the perfect home base in baseball because you easily move it back a couple of inches to regain an advantage3 when opponents(kids you just plain don't like) are running the bases.

Cat bed.
Be sure to line your makeshift cat bed with something soft. For example, you can use your local news paper's Want Ads. section if you own a moody feline. It's a subtle way of reminding them of who the bread winner is, and who in the house is getting a free ride. The cat doesn't know it's ineligible for any of those jobs, but you do. That's what makes the possibility of whiskers pacing back and forth, stressing over what to say at a job interview funny.

Halloween Costume.
If you have a hard time coming up with a good costume idea for Halloween, you could always wear the not-so-useless deflated basketball on your head. Playing the role of little known Super Hero, Mr./Mrs. Basketball, you can run around blocking greetings, rejecting people who try to give your kids ONLY fruit when trick or treating, and passing toilet paper to your friends so they can fire off a rainbow ark of the stuff onto some unsuspecting saps house.

Doorstop.
In the never ending battle of door Vs. wall, the only piece keeper is a rubber-like barrier. Don't believe me? What if I told you this rubber-like barrier can be easily repositioned so it isn't in anyone's way, and is quite festive when in the vicinity of other sports memorabilia? Bask in it's unlimited resourcefulness!