Top 10 Ways to Stay Positive when the Going Gets Tough

In everyone's life, there will be times, which force us to reach down and proverbially pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. The economic downturn and its impacts on people in all walks of life and in all socioeconomic strata has resulted in a collective stark awareness that really no one is looking after us, and that it is incumbent on you and I to make sure that we are planning and doing the right things to either manage, avoid, or overcome the challenges we face. Furthermore, the trials, tribulations and challenges that we all face will, in the end, make us better, more grateful and stronger people. However, during these times of fear, loneliness, despair, impoverishment, seeming hopelessness, sadness and depression, there are a number of tried and true methods, which can help ease our suffering and provide us with the strength to march forward into a rewarding future. The following "top ten" items are some of the more important of these methods.

1. Growth only occurs in overcoming adversity

There never was truer than the old proverb: "what does not kill you makes you stronger". First, know that each challenge we face in our lives - and this is most true of the large, life-altering challenges - provides us with the seeds of opportunity to grow beyond anything you may have previously imagined. Peak performing athletes will tell you that they have managed to morph the pre-game fear and jitters into the best performances of their lives. Think of the challenge you are now facing as an opportunity to accelerate into your future to a far better place. The bigger the challenge you overcome, the faster and further you will be able to go. Life has given you a big, fat, lemon, but it is possible that you are simply teetering on the precipice of success and it is only when you take the leap that you will realize your true potential.

2. Plan and do, but make sure you do

It is important that one takes action during these challenging times. If possible, however, make sure you are not simply taking off willy-nilly, in different, unfocused, or non-purposeful directions, which move you away from your path. Granted, sometimes diversions are required to survive, but it is important to be true to yourself and your own, personal, individual track. The great thinker and author Joseph Campbell, referred to "finding your bliss". When describing this, he said simply that when you have found and got grooved into the "right track", you will look behind and forward and know that this is where you were always meant to be and were heading all along. The important aspect is to get a vision of who you want to be; what you want to do; what you want for your family; and then acquire the necessary skills and knowledge; and set forth with action to get to where it is you have designed your life to end up. Do not just plan, however, as planning will lead to nothingness. You will need to act or "do". In doing, there is a great release of energy, enthusiasm, and purpose. Be purposeful in your actions and you will succeed.

3. Be careful with whom you associate

Almost all web-advise or books you read on this topic identify this factor. If you surround yourself with people who are displeased, bitter, angry, hopeless, and are content to wallow in their misery and bring others into their ambit of negativity, then you yourself will become this way. I'm not suggesting you forsake all your friends or family, but simply to be aware that some people will add value to your life and help you to get out of your slump, while others will want to keep you there, for if you were to change, they wouldn't recognize you anymore. Oddly enough, some of our closest and dearest friends and family want to keep us "down". For in keeping us down, they feel a sense of superiority or advantage. It is in everyone's nature to be competitive, and whether or not this competition manifests itself overtly or covertly, recognize that being "kept down" is tantamount to letting the prevailing opinion of others dictate your mood, your life circumstance, and occasionally sometimes even who you are. Do not simply and blithely accept that someone else's opinion (or group of opinions) are correct - particularly where they are not doing anything to move you onward and upward in your life. Take charge of who you are and what you want, and make sure to surround yourself with people who want you to be and to do all you can. If you find your network of associates and friends do not really have your best interests at heart, then slowly evolve away from this group. Moving away too quickly, however, and cutting all ties with friends and family may have the doubled edged effect of creating social isolation, which is a not a place you need to be during this time. But, be careful.

4. Look for opportunities to regain hope

As I write this, I am aware that some of you reading this will undoubtedly be at the "end of your rope". You may have lost your job, your home, your health and perhaps even your friends and/or family. In these instances, you need to understand that hope still exists and than anything is possible. I'm not talking about "lottery style" turnarounds, but rather that a shift in direction and accelerated growth is possible if you take purposeful action and focus your energy, time, and efforts in a direction that is consistent with who you are and what you can do. If you believe in a god, it is very important that you take up daily prayer. Do not expect swift and immediate turnaround from the Supreme Being (although, this may occur), but rather simply take comfort and solace in the notion that there are greater forces than you in the universe, and that the fates are not conspiring against you, personally. If you are atheistic or agnostic, meditate and breathe. Find that place of connectedness with who you are in the world, and know that we are all made of the same molecular stuff and that there is a harmony within and between all things.

If both of these are too flakey, then simply get off the couch and go do something positive for humanity. Join a service club, volunteer at a benevolent organization, give out food at a food bank, help an elderly person across the street, cut and elderly person's lawn or shovel their driveway. Doing something for another is of critical important - it makes you feel good, it makes them feel good, and you are doing something productive and healthy for your community and for society. Read positive, hopeful, literature or self-help or listen to recordings of positive or successful people. Virtually everyone who has achieved success in life suffered abject failure and setbacks during the course of their life. Learn from these people and how they overcome and prospered. Believe in yourself, even if no one else does. - this is probably the most important nugget of advice I, or anyone else can give.

5. Go exercise

It is particularly important physiologically and psychologically to release those feel good neuro-chemicals called endorphins. Go for a walk, join an exercise class, or "hit the gym". There is no better way to burn off negative energy and feel better. This temporary relief also allows you the respite you need to sally forth in a strong and confident manner in the hours, days and months ahead. If you are not physically able to exercise, then find a new hobby or rekindle an old hobby that allows you to focus on something other than your state of mind. Remember, "a change is as good as a rest".

6. Revisit nature

While I am not suggesting you pack up and move to the deepest darkest forest you can find, what I am suggesting is to go and listen to and experience the rhythm of nature. Go into the forest or even take a walk in a place of quiet solitude in the city. Look around. See, hear, smell, touch and otherwise experience the flora and fauna that surround you (careful about the touch part). Hug a tree. In the end, simply breathe in the air - count each breath up to 100. If you have a dog or cat, pet them and love them. Look into their eyes and know that they are at one with the universe. Accept their energy into your soul.

7. Have a good cry

Do not underestimate the healing and restorative effects of just having a good bawl. Crying is nature's way of allowing us an emotional release of pent-up energy, anxiety, fear, and other emotionally gated feelings that need to be released. Men, in particular, may find this difficult and yet need it more than anyone. Believe me, after you finish crying, you will feel better. Get back on that horse, and proceed into a future of hope.

8. Seek out help

No one is an island. "Going it alone" through life is possible, but so much more can be accomplished and achieved if you rely on and associate with others. If you find that your troubles are overwhelming, seek out and find help. There are numerous organizations available - religious, community-based, and otherwise which may offer assistance, support, advice, and counseling. Often, and despite the obvious news reporting that we are all in dire straits, we feel alone in our pain, fear, and anxiety. The truth is, we are not alone. Millions of people are experiencing similar or even worse situations than us. Sometimes getting together and relating with others in similar circumstances can provide us with the strength to move forward in an energized and focused manner. However, be careful not to slide into the "woe is me" group. If you engage with a group whose focus seems to be on all the "bad" that has arisen out of their current (and expected future) circumstance, be careful. We become most like the people with whom we spend the greatest amount of time.

9. Do not limit the possibilities or opportunities

If you have convinced yourself that staying where you are - either physically, mentally, geographically, or in any other interpretation, then you have already limited the opportunities that may await you. Open yourself up to any and all opportunities. If your success and the success of your family means moving to a different town or city, then consider it and do it. If trying something a bit different than what you were trained to do improves the odds of success, then do it. Furthermore, do not pigeon-hole yourself with your resume or your work history. We all have a myriad of talents, knowledge, skills, and work abilities that we can exchange for money.

10. Believe to sell and sell to believe (sell you on yourself)

Sit down and write two documents. The first is a 3- second elevator speech, which encapsulates who you are and what you do (well). Focus on how your abilities and experience and how what you offer is different from others and how you can proffer success for the right organization. Be humble, but clear. Secondly, write a longer speech. In this speech, you will write detailed bits of information about you that portray you and your life experience in a positive manner. Think back on all the successes you have had in your life. Whether you have overcome an affliction or handicap; succeeded in a high school basketball game; got the highest mark in grade 9 math; or whatever else you can think of where you excelled beyond your wildest dreams. Remember those times in your life when you were on a proverbial "roll". List these items out and describe them in detail. Remember also how you felt about them when you achieved them. If you are unable to think of anything right now - don't fret. However, make sure this tape (of me reminding you to write this material down) pervades your subconscious mind, and write down those "success moments" when they pop into your consciousness. Use your smart phone or a note pad, but write them down. Did I mention....write them down. When they do appear, think clearly about how you felt - relive those feelings and know the success and feelings you felt can and will be felt again in the future.

During these difficult times, it is important to be gentle with yourself. Avoid the all or nothing trap that some people get immersed into believing. The situation you are in is temporary. You are not destined to live out your life in state of despair, failure, fear or pain. You have the right to happiness, success, contentment, and to life a life that is free of abject worry and fear. With purposeful planning and taking action, you will get to where you want to be.

Good luck. Be strong.