Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs

Songs I'd Rather Not Hear During the Holidays

Paul Bright
Songs for the holidays are great for creating that good, holiday spirit. A good Christmas song can encourage people to be a little nicer, give a little more to the less fortunate and just be happy in the celebration. However, there are some songs that just don't quite give me the Christmas spirit. They can almost turn me into a downright Scrooge to the radio. This is a list of those songs, in no particular order.

Jingle Bell Rock. Please, stop playing this contrived train-wreck of a Christmas song! Remember when "rock" was something so out-of-the-box for a radio station? That's when this song was made. It was a hip jam back in its day. But today, Jingle Bell Rock reminds me of that old guy who is trying too hard to be hip. That bent rockabilly chord at the beginning makes me change the station faster than you can say "bah humbug".

Chipmunk Christmas Song. Everything about Alvin and the Chipmunks is annoying. This song tops it. Especially when they hit the "hula hoop" line. I can't take it. I can't take the horribly read banter between "David Seville" and the chipmunks. Can you believe the Chipmunk Christmas Song won Grammys in 1959 and was actually nominated for Record of the Year? I would have broken that record, all right...

Happy Christmas (War Is Over). What a better way to kill the Christmas spirit than by talking about the Vietnam War. The opening lyrics are "So this is Christmas/and what have you done?" Well, I was thinking about giving presents to those I loved, but now I feel bad about myself. Thanks, John Lennon!

Do They Know It's Christmas Time? I must admit that when this song first came out, I liked it a lot. It had all my favorite European musicians on it. But as I got older I realized: what a sad, sad song! This almost- "We Are The World" featuring Bono and Boy George is all about reminding us that many, many people are starving around the world. Not exactly what I want to hear while I eat my Christmas ham.

White Christmas. This reminds me of the global warming issues we have today. Snow comes in April. It's 70 degrees around December. Perry Como wants a White Christmas. I'd like to not be wearing shorts around Christmas time. THAT would be a miracle! Until then, please stop playing this coma-inducing reminder of how backwards our weather system has become.

Little Saint Nick. The Beach Boys dowopping about a five-speed sleigh? And the real famous cat who hits every pad? Too grooooovy for my ears!

Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas. John Denver. Wow. I almost want to get drunk this Christmas, just to spite this song. My mom wouldn't cry, though. She'd laugh at me and ask why I was drinking to this song. It's just so, so sad.

Happy Holidays. Dickery dock, whoop de doo, I'm gonna turn this song off, too. It's just so annoying with the non-sensical lyrics sung by Andy Williams as if his grandchildren threatened to kick him in the shins if he didn't write a song for them on the spot. Why would anyone pay for this gibberish? It should be banned from every mall radio station.

Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time. All I have to say is that the Beatle's two songwriters made this list. They were good writers, but not when it came to Christmas. The worst part is that each one is so symbolic of the writer's exaggerated personality. In this case, it's Paul McCartney singing lyrics about nothing and finding excuses to go "whoo whoo whoo" with synthesizers in the background. I am simply having a better Christmas time turning the station when this comes on.

Any over sung classic by a pop star. Clay Aiken. Christina Aguilera. Two people with great voices, two people who forgot to turn the mic down on Christmas songs. They are but the cream of the crop when it comes to people who cover classics like "Oh, Holy Night' and just warble it into mesh. Does Kobe go for the dunk every time the ball is in his hands? No. Is Santa getting everyone a Wii? No. Sometimes simple is best. I don't even eat my turkey overdone, so keep the spirit of the song.

Published by Paul Bright

Paul Bright is a 10 year military veteran. He is also an accomplished website content producer with over 2,000 published works online through Yahoo! Voices, Demand Studios, Digital Journal and Examiner among...  View profile

  • Two Beatles are on this list
  • Several songs are too depressing for the holidays

3 Comments

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  • Becky Whittemore5/2/2009

    I agree, some of these are not really "Christmasy" at all.

  • Patrick Belvin12/30/2008

    Paul,

    Hey, this is the only way I can contact you. Do you remember the political site that you informed me of where people can submit content and get paid for political opinions?

    R/Patrick Belvin...

  • Kofi Bofah12/24/2008

    Ba Humbug.

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