Top 5 Most Ambiguous Signs in Relationships

I don't consider myself a relationship guru by any means. Sure, my one fourteen-month love-fiesta as a 16 to 18-year-old gay man qualifies me to talk about how to "make it work" for a little while, but it doesn't mean I'm somebody to listen to if you want to, say, figure out who you should date and when to reach your ideal endgame. I go into relationships with the underlying goal of getting married and having kids, an idea of which many gay men are absolutely phobic, but really, I don't know anything anymore. I do, however, have some pointers for how you can tell that your love life is really what you think it is. For reference, the rest of this article will include the pronoun "he" meaning "your lover" for the essence of time and my sanity. I think this applies to most couples, though.

1. Well, thanks, baby, but you do realize what chrysanthemums are appropriate for, right?
Buying gifts for you is one of the most confusing signs of all time. On the one hand, it could be your birthday or he could just really want to get something for you in which you've expressed interest. On the other hand, he could be cheating on you or have some other reason to clear his conscience and get rid of suspicion. Be careful in your reaction to this, because no matter how much he loves you, a good-taste gift thanked with "ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME!?" is probably going to throw a few boulders in the road.

2. I would but... I... I just had soup!
Did your man prefer cuddling to getting it on tonight? Are you paranoid now that he's satisfied his animalistic urges elsewhere? Well, calm down. He could have just had a rough day. There is plenty of advice to solving this which I'll probably eventually cover, but for now, just realize that it's probably not a problem with either you or him and he's just too stressed and doesn't want to disappoint you. Watch out if it becomes habitual, however.

3. No, dearest, I really need to get this report done.
Is he distant now? Consumed with work? The good news is your household probably has a little extra money from the overtime and he could very well be up for a promotion which would bring in even more. For all you know, he could finally be considering having those kids you've wanted since you were little and he could just be trying to make everything more comfortable and infant-friendly. The bad news is he could be cheating on you. There's more good news, though. It's usually pretty obvious if he is. If he's distant and seems to be hiding the computer screen from you a little more than usual, he's probably doing something naughty or embarrassing. If he's just working a little extra on things and lets you know what's going on, breathe easy.

4. I need you. I want you. Oh baby oh baby.
Attachment is an issue all on its own. Wanting to spend every waking moment together at the beginning of the relationship is pretty normal as it's a time to bond and learn each other and build foundations for the rest of the relationship. Six years in, however, it's just annoying and unreasonable. The other problem here is where it goes from needy to jealous. If he doesn't let you go out with your friends without pitching a fit for hours, then that's a sign that it needs to end now. I know, I know, "he just loves me so much and doesn't want me to get hurt." No, darling, he thinks you're going to cheat on him, which also means there's a good chance he'll have revenge sex with the skanky dominatrix at his work place when you've done nothing wrong. Maybe he cares, but what if he's just a jerk?

5. Pull my finger.
Being almost obnoxiously comfortable with each other is a part of relationships. If he pees with the door open, that means he's comfortable with you -- not trying to chase you away. I know it's disgusting, but it's part of being with a man. Take the good with the bad. Unfortunately being comfortable also has a downside. It can seem more like he just doesn't care anymore, almost like he really is trying to chase you away. For the most part, this isn't true, but there are some exceptions.

These ambiguous relationship occurrences can be frustrating, stressful, and detrimental to even the strongest of bonds. As has been said before, communication is the key to being successful in defeating these problems. One thing is certainly not ambiguous, though: If he won't talk or he lies, it's time to get out.

Relationships are a two-way street. As long as you keep this in mind and work your hardest, things will be good and you will enjoy yourself. As always, be careful, be smart, and be aware.