Top 5 Things Legislators Wil Do During the Shutdown

As the prospect of a government shut down grows larger in the horizon, it got me to thinking. What will all the politicians do with their days off? Is this like a snow-day for them, where they get to go out and play while people at home await their social security and welfare checks? I came up with five options as to what they'll do starting Friday at midnight, and put together this list.

5. Hold a Legislators Only Pajama Party In the Rotunda - Just picture all those law makers in their pajamas dancing to Justin Bieber, eating lots of candy, trying to stay up later than all the other Senators and members of the House of Representatives! The Democrat versus Republican pillow fight would be epic fun. I just feel sorry for whoever has to play "Seven Minutes in Heaven" with John Boehner. If I wanted to make out with someone who was crying all night I'd go back in time and re-live my junior prom.

4. Re-shoot "Ben Hur" Shot for Shot - If the government shut down lasts long enough, they should have plenty of time to pull this off. They could use the floor of the Senate for the chariot race. We all know how good politicians are at pretending to care about issues that effect us all, so they're already adept at acting. Who would play the title role? That's easy: Dennis Kucinich.

3. Two Words: FOOD FIGHT! - I don't think this one needs much more explanation.

2. Bedazzle All the Seats, Lecterns and Podiums in the Capitol Building - I think it's time we added a little flair to our legislative epicenter, don't you? Nothing screams "look at me!" like bedazzling. Think of how stunning the next Statement of the Union would look to the rest of the world when they see all the rhinestones and sequins! in fact if they don't do this, I'll feel like the shut down was just a big waste of time and posturing; which we all know simply cannot be the truth.

1. Start, Launch and Then Stop Printing an In-House Newsletter Called "No Hatin' While We Are Legislatin'" - Movie reviews, government gossip and cartoons drawn by Nancy Pelosi. This newsletter would have it all. A buzz would be going around the rotunda and subscription sales would sky rocket. However, before everyone can get too excited, a scathing expose by the Democrats about the Republicans' neck tie would result in a lawsuit shutting down the newsletter once and for all.