Top 50 Sexiest Hits Aren't All Sexy Songs: They Picked Top Sex Hits

What's sexy and what isn't sexy is a certainly a subjective matter, not just in music, but in many other areas. Merriam-Webster defines sexy as: "(1) sexually suggestive or stimulating : erotic; and (2) generally attractive or interesting : appealing." Judging from reactions to Billboard's recently released list of Top 50 Sexy Songs of All Time, it doesn't look like I'm alone in my belief that it's not that simple. Many people thought the results were so off the wall that they left comments asking if the people who compiled it were just crazy or on crack.

But Billboard was right up front about the criteria they used to compile this list of Sexy Hits (not Sexy Songs): The subject matter of the song had to be directly related to sex. Then they used an "inverse point system, with weeks at No. 1 earning the greatest value and weeks at No. 100 earning the least." They further manipulated the list by weighting certain time frames "to account for the difference between turnover rates from those years." Whatever that means, it produced a list that contained NO songs before 1969, exactly 13 songs from the 1970s, 80s and 90s and 10 songs from 2000-2008. Billboard says it is "literally, the 50 most popular songs about sex ever, as based on each song's performance on the Billboard Hot 100 chart (from August 4, 1958 ... through the Jan. 16, 2010 issue)."

Olivia Newton John's song, Physical beat out some really sexy songs like Rod Stewart's Tonight's the Night and Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On (although the latter two did make it into the Top 10). Well, sexy means sensual to me, and Olivia's song wasn't a very sensual song to me. Besides, by the time that came out, I had 2 kids and I woke up one morning to see my 2 year old daughter running around the house in circles, singing "Olivia Newton-John, Olivia Newton-John," with a sweatband around her head and her hair 6 inches shorter than it was when I went to bed the night before. She wanted to look like Olivia Newton-John and my 6 year old son was happy to oblige and set up a barbershop! It was a Sunday and I had to find someplace that was open to repair the damage after I recovered from the shock. Alas, before Physical, Olivia had long hair. Her song with John Travolta, You're the One That I Want from Grease was much sexier, and so was Olivia in skin tight black spandex, a black leather jacket and red peep-toe high heeled sandals.

There are so many songs from the 1960s that are much sexier than the Stones' Honky Tonk Woman. That in itself makes this list even more messed up than the choices they made in the other decades. As we progress through the decades, the so-called sexy song lyrics just keep degenerating. In 1976, we have Stewart's Tonight's the Night sexy lyric: "spread your wings and let me come inside," By 2008, Lil Wayne's 'sexiest' lyric, "Shawty wanna hump" in Lollipop, isn't sexy! It's just plain raunchy. So let's get a new list, Billboard, change this list to Top 50 Hits and make a new Top 50 Sexiest Songs (and don't leave off Cold Sweat).

Click here if you want to see just the plain numbered list of Billboard's Top 50 Sexiest Hits of All Time.

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