Top 8 Stupid Campaign Quotes by Barack Obama and John McCain

We've come to expect certain things from politicians. Rhetoric, promises, and the occasional public faux pas. These quotes, however, from the presidential candidates, inspire less than a respectable amount of confidence in the men vying for America's highest office.

"I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks." - John McCain at the National Small Business Summit in Washington, D.C., June 10, 2008

You'll veto every beer, Senator McCain? Attention college students and sports fans-time to get out the vote!

"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies." McCain, speaking in Kenner, Louisiana on June 3, 2008

There's a healthy solution to infant malnutrition if ever I heard one.

"I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited -- it will be spirited -- because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica-- conservative Republican...Hello? Easy there." John McCain at a town meeting in Richardson, Texas earlier this year

Talking out of both sides of one's mouth does have inherent hazards...

"Look, when I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point." Barack Obama

About the best thing I can say about this one is...Obama gets points for not insulting the intelligence of the American public by claiming he didn't inhale. On the other hand, the fact that he inhaled "frequently" might explain the spluttering and stuttering that pours out of his mouth when confronted with certain vital issues (see Obama's interview with Rick Warren, when questioned on abortion - "L-l-l-emme, l-lemme...t-t-t-talk about that...").

"The notion that we would sustain that kind of effort and neglect not only making us more secure here at home, more competitive here at home, allow our economy to sink." Barack Obama at the Democratic debate at University of Texas in Austin, Feb 21, 2008, addressing McCain's willingness to stay in Iraq for 100 years.

Now, in the interest of good will, I'm going to let slide the fact that this doesn't even qualify as a complete sentence. That said - interpretation, anyone? Please? What the hell does this even mean?

"I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go." --Barack Obama, speaking at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon. Obama continues on to say his staff would not justify visiting Hawaii and Alaska.

It really doesn't bode well that Obama's campaign crew is discriminating against our proud 59^th and 60^th states. Shame on them.

"Why can't I just eat my waffle?" --Barack Obama, in response to a reporter's foreign policy question while eating at a Pennsylvania diner.

Mom, she started it! Mr. Obama, if you just want to eat your waffle, stay at home. Otherwise, I suggest not eating in a public restaurant while running for president (perhaps grab a power bar on the way, get that tummy filled up before they start picking on you).

"It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." Barack Obama addressing the challenge of getting working-class voters on his side.

Darned working class people, always clinging to their stupid religious beliefs. Never fear, I'll also take care of that pesky right to bear arms issue.

Thank you, Senators Obama and McCain. When the political rhetoric becomes too much to bear, it's nice to know we can choose to throw our hands up and laugh.