Top Eight Misused Sets of Words

Didn't make anyone's myspace top eight list because you're such a nerd? Here comes a top eight list of which you'll be glad you're not a part. Did you win the spelling bee in middle school? Is your reading enjoyment ruined by grammatical errors? Do you want to scream when you find mistakes in books that were released by huge publishing companies and haven't been properly proofread even though they are on the seventeenth printing? If so, I'm sending this one out on the request and dedication line just for you.

8. By and buy

These two look like twins to some people but in fact they're not even kissing cousins. "By" is a preposition meaning "next to." The nightclub is unfortunately by the library and sometimes I pull an all-nighter in the wrong building. "Buy" is a verb that means "to purchase." I'm going to buy a flask to take to the library so the study group will be more fun.

7. Whither and wither

"Whither" is basically an archaic word for the adverb "where." "Wither" is a verb meaning "to shrivel or fade." Whither went my libido? It withered away because your love letters were so poorly written.

6. Pour and pore

I see these misused so often I have started to second guess myself. Unlike "nauseated" and "nauseous," the interchanging of which made my freshman English professor livid but which actually mean the same thing, these are actually very different words.

"Pour" is a verb which means "to send a liquid flowing and falling." "Pore," when used as a verb, is "to read or study with steady application" or "to meditate or ponder intently." The waitress kept pouring the coffee while I pored over my copy of Roget's Thesaurus.

5. Accept and except

"Accept" is a verb that means "to take or receive something offered." I am proud to accept this Academy Award for Best Mockumentary. "Except" is a preposition meaning "with the exclusion of." I would be proud to accept this Academy Award for Best Mockumentary except I have nothing to wear to the ceremony.

4. Your and you're

"Your" is an adjective which means "of or relating to one or oneself." I have your hairbrush, which you left in my minivan. "You're" is a contraction which stands for the words "you are." If you're in the neighborhood, stop by and pick up your ugly hairbrush.

3. To and too.

This one makes me turn green and grow into a bodybuilder. "To" is a preposition used for expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place, or thing approached and reached. I am going to the store.
"Too" is an adverb meaning "in addition" or "also." I am going to the store too and when I get there I'm going to buy a dictionary.

2. Discreet and discrete

If you've ever looked at the personal ads you will see these misused without irony in the "men seeking women" section. "Discreet" is an adjective meaning "prudent." "Discrete," also an adjective, means "separate." He is seeking a discreet relationship because he and his wife are not discrete.

1. There and they're and their, for Christ's sake

"There" is an adverb meaning "in or at that place." "They're" is a contraction which stands for the phrase "they are." "Their" is a possessive pronoun that denotes ownership either by more than one person or a person of unknown gender. She is standing there on the corner where they're catcalling, thereby demonstrating their lack of manners.