Top Five Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Cats

This debate has raged in suburban households and schools for a long time. Let's put it to bed once and for all. While cats can be friendly, and are cute when they're little, we all know dogs are better.

1. Dogs are Companions, Not Simply There to Eat Food and Sleep On Your Couch.

When you have a cat and you come from a long day at the office, what happens? Nothing. What happens when you have a dog and you come home from a long day at the office? He jumps up and down when he sees you, circles your legs crazily, and licks and jumps up for you to kiss him back. Now, while this can be somewhat embarrassing when guests arrive, it's most certainly welcome after a long day. Dogs bring joy into your home and your life, and their affection is unconditional. They don't care if you yelled at them ten minutes ago, or forgot to give them breakfast; they will love you anyway.

2. Dogs Are Fantastic Chick Magnets.

It's cliche, but hey, it's totally true. If you bring your cute little dog or your huge awkward retriever to a public park, you are guaranteed to meet at least 3-4 new women. And ladies, the same holds true with men. We all love dogs, and we'll jump at the opportunity to play with a new one, especially if it also comes with the possibility of a date. Dogs are cute, people-friendly, and generally great bait for attracting new people into your life.

3. You Can Play With a Dog.

How often have you taken your cat out for a walk? When was the last time you played fetch with your cat? That's right. Never. Dogs are fantastic buddies. They're eager to go to the park and fetch a tennis ball for hours and hours. They nearly jump out of their skin when you reach for the leash. And, of course, they love the car. The fact is that dogs are our second best friend. Nothing to do tonight? Take the dog outside and watch him chase squirrels. Or, bring the dog to the dog park and watch him make friends, play tag, and seek out female dogs (hint: also a good place to meet people).

4. Dogs Watch Over Their Owners.

While some dogs may seem a few french fries short of a Happy Meal, they're smarter than you think. They watch you all day long and pick up on small signals that you send out. They know your voice, your habits, your routine, and, most importantly, the way you sound when approaching the door. Therefore, strange noises that are out of the ordinary routine for the dog puts him on alert. And, while it's usually a friend or a family member or the mailman, and you wish he would stop barking already, you'll be thanking him when his incessant barking scares away the local robber.

5. Dogs Go the the Bathroom Outside.

Yes, they certainly do. Even if you live in an urban jungle and must be humiliated every day by picking up your dog's feces, it's still not festering in a box in your bathroom. Litter boxes are the most disgusting parts of any cat owner's home. They smell, they're an eyesore, and, more frequently than not, they are cleaned irregularly at best. While it may be annoying when your dog wakes you up at 3 AM, and you have to groggily let him out to do his business, you'll be glad in the morning that you missed a few minutes sleep and didn't have a box full of dog shit next to your shower.

All you cat owners out there, don't get huffy. I've owned many cats, and I have loved them all. It's simply that dogs are better. Period.