Top Five Reasons to NOT Use Facebook

In becoming more and more aware of exactly what Facebook is, my fear grows daily. Facebook is putting people in touch with their old friends, causing them to update each other on the status of their lives, even allowing people to see pictures of what is developing in your life.

Such a sharing of information among friends and must be stopped. What will people do when they know what is going on with friends across the country? Can society survive?

To combat the spread of this terrible social network, I have composed a list of the top five reasons to not use Facebook:

Quick communication of facts friend to friend: This trend started with the advent of the still-dangerous email, and continues with social networking. There was once a time when it took weeks to communicate ideas person-to-person, but now that time has been brought down to seconds. What will we do then when the transmission ideas jumps to telepathy, the only logical next step after email and Facebook messaging? This kind of instant transmission is terribly dangerous.

Finding friends you haven't spoken to in a long time: Ever since my lapse in judgment caused me to join Facebook, I have been rediscovering friendships that I thought were long gone. Picture my dismay when one of my best friends from high school contacted me to share old stories and to arrange a get-together of old friends. I was mortified! Friends should be left by the wayside when they part ways, never to be brought together again (unless in the completely awkward setting of a class reunion).

Storing of photo albums where all of your friends can see what you have been doing: I can imagine little worse than showing my friends the moments in my life that I have immortalized in pictures. Digital cameras and online photo sharing lets my friends see into my life, and now they know what to talk to me about when we see each other. Panic attacks ensue when I discover that my friends know that I had a wonderful time on my road trip to New York, when I never even told them I was going.Consider what would happen if they were to ask me whether I saw the Statue of Liberty? What would I say?!

Even worse, my photos are tagged with links to my friends. More than once I have had someone realize that we have a friend in common. What if they talk about how much they like me behind my back?

Status updates: Along with the evils of instant communication comes the dreaded status update. Now all of my friends can share funny things that they are doing, the places they are, or even short snippets of wisdom with EVERYONE AT THE SAME TIME!!! Imagine if someone would laugh at something funny that I see on the side of the road, or if a friend could meet me for lunch because we both realize we're in the same area via Facebook.

Facebook chat: Facebook chat rivals email and Facebook messages as being a cruel shift in my life reality. Friends that I haven't spoken to since high school have contacted me, and we have carried on conversations about their children, their jobs, even their spouses. Now I feel like I know everything about them once again! I have even had friends converse with me about their day, and share humorous stories about something that happened to them, all in real time.

I hope that the rest of you don't just lay down and take this; Facebook must be brought down. We are at risk of becoming a connected community of people, of staying in contact with our friends forever, and of making the world seem even smaller than it is. Rise up against Facebook, and let us reclaim the loneliness of losing all of our friends forever.