Top Parenting Secrets from a Children's Author

The top parenting secrets that I can offer you as a children's author are to make time and have a presence that matter in your children's lives. There are some basic reasons why I believe that. I have noticed a trend in modern day society where children are often teaching themselves. While this can have some benefits there are some detriments. Let's take a look at those and how I came to believe this is a children's author.

As I began research on a project for a children's book I did a lot of research in the area of psychology. I also did serious research in the area of parenting and how it affects modern-day children and their learning. The reason I did this was to make sure that there was a lesson to the book that I am writing for children and parents alike. My goal is that the parent and child will both benefit from sharing this moment in time with a book together.

Through this research I have noticed that many parents are actually leaving the children alone with other care providers that are not consistent with their own parenting. This causes the child to fall into a sense of disorder and confusion in order for their work. Your first knee-jerk reaction is probably one of distaste for this idea. You might think that the idea is not to work. But you have to keep in mind that there was a time in our history in America when children were actually parented more and supervised better by their parents. This is not meant to be an insult but rather a wake-up call for your children's sake. Yes you can work and still parent your child well but you have to do it well.

I discovered during my research that while you may have to work and not be able to be present with your child there is a way to parent your child better in a modern-day society and still provide for your family. It requires having a support network. If you have a strong support network of people that believe as you do that can help you raise your child then your child learn the same benefits from them as they would if you were there with them. That is my first secret.

My second secret is that when you are with the child you need to make sure that this time is meaningful and supportive. Really show your child that you love them and that you are there for them whenever they need you. This is important because when you do separate and go to work you leave them with their care provider in a way that makes them feel that there is a consistency and not a break. Otherwise your child will end up having problems with not only transitions but with security as well. Instead you need to show them consistency so they have a sense of security and feel that they know their place in life.

Examples

When I first began research for this project my then best friend had a little girl that was four years old. My friend worked as a family attorney and private law firm full-time. Actually, she worked more than full-time. She was usually only home a maximum of about six hours a day. That's just enough time to sleep. This was Monday through Sunday. Sundays were usually reserved for business parties. None of which allowed my friend to be a parent to her daughter. Her husband, the child's father was much the same. Parenting for those two basically involved coming in saying good night or good morning. Gifts were brought to the little girl in place of love. The child wanted for nothing physically but was dying inside from a lack of physical proximity to her parents. She had the best any money could buy but that was simply not same. While this would appear to be a care provider that could consistently offer what the child needs in your absence. The breakdown occurs in the difference of lifestyle parenting. In this case the Nanny had a very different the leaf system and lifestyle than the parents. Have the child's parents unaware of this perhaps they could have had a grandparent who was available to help raise child. Either way the little girl ended up in therapy in order to cope with modern day life.

Another friend of mine had a little girl who was six years old when she had to go to work. She just experienced a divorce and had previously been a full-time mom to her daughter. While somebody may say this is inevitable in our society it doesn't take away from the fact that this little girl suffered the lack of parenting that she experienced. While there are other aspects to her parenting experience because of the divorce and the stress of home I believe the primary problem was a breakdown in consistency of parenting. She ensures to not feel that her mother was they're for her whenever she needed her.

Solution

So what is the solution for this problem? The answer is simple. Number one, you have to have a solid network to help support you. Not just a nanny or a care provider but a real support network. Friends, grandparents and any other adult that is consistent in your way of parenting that is present on a daily basis with your child is the best way to help you raise your child in an environment where they will feel safe and well parented. Second, the time that you do send with your child when you return and the change of care provider occurs you have to make sure that it is routine and predictable or trial. This consistency allows your child to feel safe and that you are there for them no matter what. In short your child will learn that you are there for them all the time. The security helps your child develop into the best adult they can possibly be.

Conclusion

This is the best advice that I can offer you as the top parenting secrets for me as a children's author. The book, which I'm writing, which is an independent project will cover the subject. It will involve something that you can reach your child not only bond but learn lesson as well and hopefully open up a means of communication between your child and yourself.