Top Secrets of Raising Boys

I consider myself an expert in the area of raising boys. Don't get me wrong, parenting boys is a work in progress and as my boys grow and reach a new unchartered age, I have to adapt and learn something new to best meet their needs. I have gathered the Top Secrets of Raising Boys. These secrets will not only help parents tackle their boys but these top secrets will also allow parents to laugh more and yell less.

Top Secret #1 - Keep Boys Active
Boys are active and busy. They have an abundance of energy that we often wish we could bottle for ourselves, because as parents of these boys, they suck the life and energy out of us. Well, if they are going to bouncing off walls and climbing on our furniture, then we need to provide for them an outlet to encourage activity. Whether the activity be structured or unstructured, physical activity is crucial. There are so many sports for boys to get involved in. Provide your son with the opportunity to explore different sports.

My son is 5 years old and he takes swim lessons through the local competitive swim club. He loves swimming. I balk at signing him up for the winter because it's so cold outside. It's so much work to drag him out into the Arctic-like winter and get him undressed and dressed and bundled up again after swimming only to head back out into the cold. Though I have to remind myself that this activity is crucial for him both physically and mentally. He is more focused when he is active.
Unstructured activity is just as beneficial to boys. I will take my boys to the playground or out into the yard and have them just run wild. This helps them unleash some of their energy in an environment conducive to being busy.

Activity is also important because it helps foster good health. More and more children are battling weight issues. Physical activity can help in this area of concern. The important thing is that your son enjoys what he is doing.

Top Secret #2 - Praise, Praise, Praise
I find myself praising my boys over and over and over again throughout the day. They feed off of my positive feedback and everybody wins. My son wakes up and uses a "soft voice" so as not to wake the baby, he in turn, is praised for remembering to use his "inside voice". The more you reward your son with praise, the more he will want to exhibit great behavior.

I find my boys praising me now. They see the benefits of praise and will reciprocate the favor of complimenting me. What a great feeling to have my boys understand the benefits of positive reinforcement. Be sure to be specific about praise. Tell them what makes you happy and proud. The sky's the limit when it comes to praise.

Praise them for the normal , regular things that are expected of them and praise them for the exceptional when they go above and beyond. Praise can also be in the form of hugs, special time with a parent, trip to the park, special activity, or a new toy or book.

Top Secret #3 - Catch them being good.
Caught again! My boys break down in giggles when I grab them and hug them and say, "Caught you!" What used to be agonizing torture getting them to clean their play room is now "not so bad". They know if I tell them once then they will be "Caught" and then praised (see top secret #2) for picking up their toys without multiple reminders and nagging. This top secret is a no brainer. If you catch them being good then they will receive praise which will result in your son's self esteem bolstering.

Top Secret #4 - Patience.
I know this is really not a top secret to parenting boys. It's actually a key to parenting in general though it needs to be multiplied by one hundred with boys. A good technique for parents to use is Plan 1 (I have yet to name this great method hence it's lame name of Plan 1):"Stop, Take 2 Deep Breathes and Count to 5". My blood will be boiling because I'll be pulling my 3 year old off of the arm of the couch for the eighteenth time in a day and will be contemplating yelling, spanking, timeout, or just plain losing it when I put into action my "plan 1". It works. It really does. By the time I finish Plan 1, the little rascal is off the couch and I can deal with him in a more suitable manner. The old virtue is not out-dated, patience is still a virtue.

Top Secret #5 - Routine Teaches Boys Good Habits
This top secret I had to learn the hard way. Chaos was taking over my family. Raising three boys and working full time as a teacher gave me little time to budge so I had to establish a routine for the family that would specifically look at the needs of each of my boys, who are in fact at different stages from each other. Then of course, I had to factor in the needs of myself and my husband. We worked together as a family of five to make our routine successful in our lives. My boys have learned the importance of prayer, good hygiene, studying, chores, quiet time, and much more.
One top secret about routines is that they don't have to be written in stone. There is an elastic clause in all routines providing that changes can be made as necessary. This is written in the Constitution and you need to remember that in your family if something isn't working then make changes to meet the needs of everyone.

These 5 top secrets are just a few of the keys to raising dynamic, well behaved boys. Parenting boys is an important job as we are molding them into young men. These young men are the fathers, husbands, and leaders of tomorrow. Embrace them. Embrace their differences and their energy.