Top Ten New Car Ratings and Certifications

Matthew Stoker
A new energy efficiency rating for automobiles is being developed, whereby those people who can afford to drive all electric vehicles which get an "A+". The ratings will be applied to new cars and printed on a special sticker which will be attached to new cars. What isn't widely known is that a number of other new car ratings are being developed and will be made available to consumers as well. Ten of them are listed below.

1. The Color Fashion Rating (CFR). Cars that are painted puke green and vibrant orange get a low 1 to 3 rating, while more aesthetically pleasing off white cars get a higher rating.

2. The computer connectivity rating. Does your car have an iPod hook up or a solar powered Wi-Fi router? Then you might get a high rating on this scale which improves your car's resale value in this technological age.

3. The drive-thru readiness rating. SUVs which tower over your local McDonald's drive-thru won't get a high rating, while a sedan with a driver's side window on the level with the drive-thru window will get a high rating.

4. The Cat Comfort Level. Cats, and even certain breeds of dogs, are placed in new cars and the time it takes them to fall asleep while the car is driven is used to derive a number which is the basis of this rating. A high rating means that your car is cat friendly, which is good if you have to transport cats a long distance to feline rodeos for example.

5. Plastic to Metal Ratio. As more plastic is being used to make cars than ever before, many consumers want to know exactly how much plastic goes into their car. This handy ratio gives them that information.

6. Bird Safety Rating. For anybody who has been attacked outside by a flock of rabid seagulls, having a seagull proof car is a must. This safety rating tells consumers how their car fairs in a simulated seagull attack. The highest rating of 10 is reserved for cars and SUVs with bird proof glass and heavily shielded gas tanks.

7. Flotation Time. One day you might get caught in a flash flood and how long your car can float could be important. While most cars take on water immediately, a new brand of H20 SUVs are water tight below the windows and can float for hours before springing a leak.

8. Hydrogen fuel cell readiness. While your car convert easily to hydrogen fuel cells, or will it go the way of the Hindenburg? This rating lets consumers know how easy it will be to upgrade their car in a couple decades to space age hydrogen fuel cell technology.

9. Auto-Pilot Certification Level. Many SUVs and cars coming out in the next three years will have an onboard advanced "auto pilot" which utilizes the latest in GPS and artificial intelligence to let the computer do the driving. However, only those cars with the highest auto-pilot certification level will be allowed to drive in certain states such as New York and Texas.

10. Griswold Road Trip Compatibility Rating (GRTCR). Will your car or SUV be able to make a cross country trip with the entire family? This rating covers everything that might potentially happen on your vacation, from blow outs to minor accidents; highly rated cars will get your family there and back even if you didn't want to go there in the first place.

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Sources:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gDpryUvcTfaVnVgaePiD0DrzCEDgD9HU04QO0

Published by Matthew Stoker

In between working on a prequel to one of my books, (Troll's Tale, the Hunt for Thistle Wick's Spell Book), and a couple other books in production, I enjoy using Associated Content to write short humorous bi...  View profile

2 Comments

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  • Fern Fischer8/31/2010

    WOW, the flotation feature is just what we've been waiting for!

  • Kristie Leong M.D.8/31/2010

    I agree. It's important to have a car that'll shield you from a seagull attack. :-)

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