Top Ten Explanations for the Northern Lights

Due to an explosion on the surface of the sun which has sent plasma hurling to earth, many citizens living in the continental United States will be able to see the Northern Lights this week. Though the science behind the Northern Lights (also called the Aurora) is fairly well established and involves solar plasma being accelerated in the Earth's magnetic field, early attempts at explaining the phenomena have varied from the mythical to pseudoscience. Ten of these early explanations are listed below.

1. Mark Twain believed that the Northern Lights were the result of "comet exhaust" from comets that had recently passed through the solar system; though he admitted that they may also be caused by "moon dust."

2. The Greek believed that the Northern Lights occur when Zeus "sneezes" before he can cover his mouth and nose.

3. Lindsay Lohan has stated that she believes that the Northern Lights can only be seen by people who had consumed massive amounts of Russian vodka and are otherwise an urban legend.

4. Al Gore believes that the Northern Lights are caused by "Mother Nature" having hot flashes due to global warming. Other global warming experts believe that this is not the case.

5. Fidel Castro believed for years that the Northern Lights were part of a western democracy plot to confuse Russians living in Siberia and he has banned pictures of them in Cuba.

6. Oceanographer decoding songs produced by killer whales have discovered that the whales believe that the Northern Lights are the product of a "highly charged ions interacting with an inverse magnetic string field curved by gravity." Theoretical physicists believe that the whales are confusing thermodynamics and general relativity, though they are intrigued by the whales' theory.

7. A now discredited early hoax reveal that the colored lights are composed of blue "Smurfs" and green "Gremlins" in spacesuits.

8. The artist formerly known as Prince has claimed that he paints the Northern Lights in his dreams each night and they magically appear the next day exactly as he has envisioned them.

9. Charles Darwin oddly believed that the Northern Lights were the fluorescent urine of migrating swans heading to the moon in winter.

10. The CIA for years in the 1950's believed that the Northern Lights were caused by alien spacecraft entering and exiting the atmosphere frequently during the work week. Aliens living at Area 51 have denied that their craft are responsible and say that they are more "green" than anything earthlings have developed at this point and deny they are polluting earth's atmosphere.

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Sources:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/2010-08-03-Northern-Lights_N.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurora_%28astronomy%29